This needs to be shared with anybody needing to be set free of the things that has been using you as a feeding trough, a life source, not letting you fully stand and shine in your own light and energy. It is something God has shown me in scripture, Sunday School, Worship Service, and Bible Study. I am here to testify.
I have always thought myself to be a compassionate, loving, serving, hospitable, and going out of my way friend and person. I was voted "friendliest" in high school. I have been labeled "bubbly" "happy" "perky" and "outgoing". In college, I planned all the parties (decent ones, I didn't "party") and hosted or co-hosted. I baked and cooked all the things I possibly could. I picked up the pizzas. I picked up the supplies. I did the decorating. I did the invitations. I cleaned up. Now, it always made my heart so so happy to do these things BECAUSE I loved those people I was serving so deeply. Those people loved me and poured into me the love of Jesus.
After college, began work, college friends moved away. I remained best friends with my current best friends to this day. One whom I went on to work with until I had Ellie, another who has been living away since graduating from Clemson. Work turned me into an introvert. So weird. I was the most outgoing, hosted and attended every party, went on every hike, excursion, trip, etc. Suddenly, I was tired and just loved my bed and Disney movies and cheese fries. In fact, my best friend Lauren (twin) asked me to go to the Monster Truck Rally one night in Greenville. (neither one of our ideas of a night out). I was already in pajamas and watching the Lion King and I told her no, I wanted to stay in for the night. Knowing how honest I am and not doing anything I don't want to now at this point of life, Lauren let me be. But then, I changed my mind as I remembered it was not always about what the activity content was but more about what attitude you have and whom you share the experience with. So, knowing Lauren and I could make a riot of a time out of it, I called her back and said I would go. The next thing I knew, we were wearing our "Red-neck" plaid to really embrace the evening, eating at California Dreaming looking very out of place. The Monster Truck rally was actually super super fun and we laughed soooooo hard my abs hurt so bad all the next day. It is now one of our fondest memories. This girl, is a treasure.
That experience taught me that life should be filled with people who provide the following:
1. Excessive Laughter
2. Truth, even when it hurts
3. Unconditional love and forgiveness (I later really learned this one all too well).
4. Strength and accountability in your relationship with God
5. Acceptance of all your quirks and weirdnesses.
So, there was a time not so very long ago in my married and maternal life where I then learned that sometimes, you have to cut off any people or any things that simply do nothing but act as parasites to your joy, sucking all the life out of you. People that are not like Lauren. No friend is a friend if they constantly harp on your or put you down...even done so in a so called "sarcastic" manner. People are still created with feelings.
In my personal experience a parasite is someone or something that does the following:
1. Sucks away your joy
2. Drains you of all your energy
3. Makes you feel guilty or that you need to create excuses to please them/it
4. You have to defend them/it to outside loved one's view points
5. Drag you down, make you play with fire in your beliefs
6. Disrespects your beliefs
7. Does not lift you up, strengthen you, motivate you, build you up, challenge you to improve
8. You can never please...it is work to please...leaves you mentally and emotionally exhausted
9. Takes offense to truth given in love
10. Does not encourage your lifestyle in a Godly manner
When I was allowing my parasitic lifestyle to happen, I didn't realize it had begun. It was gradual. It was not until I realized how bitter, exhausted, and rude I had become, and filled with desire to hide from the parasites that I realized the "parasites" were indeed extracting from me all of my joy, energy, happiness, and making me feel worthless. Which I am not! God has shown me better than that!
But how do you remove a parasite? I can assure you no matter how gentle or abruptly you remove the parasite it is not without pain. I had hoped to slowly detach from mine. I didn't want to hurt feelings, I didn't want there to be a thought that I did not love or care for, I simply wanted to just be free of the parasites. I eventually had to abruptly jerk the parasites away because it was turning into a scab that wouldn't heal. It made me sad to feel I had possibly hurt the parasites in the process but the real truth is, the VERY SECOND I ripped it away.....I felt SO MUCH relief. It was truly as blood rushed back into my veins. My spirits were lifted, I had an outlook to a free and happy future without obligation, judgment, and a stronger relationship with Jesus. I reunited with the very best friend of my life by being able to see the love of Christ again and not the "love" of a parasite that needs you but doesn't necessarily want you. I began smiling at Wal Mart for goodness sakes!! I even started having conversations with random people again! Then, even more recently I got involved with an amazing MOPS group which is basically a bible study for moms full of love and service to others as well as each other! I even get to help in hospitality which is my spiritual gift and help lead discussions! I was not just pumping blood in my veins again, I was pumping the power of the Holy Spirit again! Emily. Sweet little Emily that I am known to be by the grace of God and my good parental raising, was back! I lost my bitter and ill-compassionate coat, my lack of desire for people, and became loving and joyful and happy and glowy, bubbly, sacrificial Emily again!! I am far from perfect, Lord have mercy, so so so far. But the best thing I can do to please the Lord is to love those parasites from afar with prayer, forgiveness, and true hope all is well. I don't have to be caught up in it, to love it. An unholy attitude would be to hate and not forgive for the parasitic ways of the parasite, but the truth is, your parasite is God's to handle and if it is a person, God loves them and so shall we...but from a safe distance. Keep this in mind. I am so glad for the adult lessons God has given me and the joy He has given me with the wonderful people in my life who let me be me as long as I am my best self in the name of Jesus! Let nobody or no item steal you or your spirit! And remember to detach in and with love of the Holy Spirit. This is not a "you suck....literally!" war. Let all you do be done to glorify God.
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