Ellie: 8 Months

Another eventful past month for Ellie!

She is 28.5 inches tall and 18 lbs.

She has one little tooth!

She is almost walking totally on her own.
She is on the move in a BIG way. At 5.5 months the girl was crawling very well. By 6.5 months she started taking little steps while holding our hands. By 7.5 months she was pulling up on toys and walkers and going...almost running all on her own. She loves to climb up our limbs and climb anywhere she can. She has stood briefly on a few occasions without holding anything at all, all on her own. She has also taken steps forward only holding on with one hand of hers. I believe she will be moving without any help at all very, very soon. Literally every day she is stronger, more determined, and faster. I can't make this up. This girl got both of her parent's athleticism and determined & ambitious spirits. And I must say I am one proud little mama!

She started Baby led weaning at the start of the past month. It comes and goes. Some days she eats like a growing teenage boy. Others she merely looks at her food like, "What do you think I am gonna do with this?" But when she is hungry, that little girl stuffs her face very well! She loves her yogurt, cheese sticks, special muffins I make her of fruits, veggies, and oats, and she loves lots of different fruits and spicy shredded chicken. The hardest part has been with my own self and having patience and allowing her to explore her food....no matter the mess or how many scraps Blondie gets out of it. I've had to cling to what my sister and friend Karen taught me and showed me that this is NOT the main source of nutrition right now, this is a time to teach her to feed herself, explore food, textures, tastes, how to hold food, work on her pincer grasp. Her formula is still her main source of nutrition. Clinging to these facts has been what has gotten me through the anxious moments when that food gets in her hands, goes to her lips....then hits the floor. I actually literally sit on the edge of my seat...my stare upon her getting larger and wider, heart fluttering faster, i start biting my lip....and then womp, womp, wompppppp! Yes. I get way too overly anxious about it. But she is really doing well and I am so thankful for these other mamas in my life to help me to do what is best for little Ellie.  And to keep me sane.

I have been teaching her "All Done" in sign language. She knows what it means but she does not mimic it yet or rather communicate it herself. She communicates "All Done" by slapping her tray and grunting like a mad little teddy bear. But when I do the sign, she smiles and gets happy and expects me to take her tray, which I do. So she gets the concept...we will continue to teach it!

She can say "Dada", "Yeah", "Hey", and "Hey Blondie" or "Hey Daddy!" Her favorite thing to do is say, "Hey!" and wave to older little kids. She is becoming so friendly and personable with others and loves making friends and playing with others. She also knows/comprehends/ responds to "Mommy", "Cajun", "No", "Milk", and "Bite".

She loves to dance with me and jump and shake her booty!

Ellie got to have a lot of play time with her cousins and her friends this past month. Her cousins visited on a couple occasions and we soaked that up! All the big kids wanted a turn at holding Ellie. Laurel (just turned 3) was excited every time Ellie got up and crawled or stood up and walked along something. She would say, "Look! Look at Baby Ellie!" All 5 of the kids went to hear Cinderella read a story. Jayden was such an amazing and mature young sport about it. I love him so much! He just wanted to be sure Ellie enjoyed herself. And she did! I think her favorite part was sitting with her cousins.

Our friends the Hardy family came over for another dinner night and play date for the babies. Sam and Ellie get along so very well and that makes me so happy! I hope they will have each other's backs all their lives. It makes my heart flitter watching them play and Ellie learning from sweet Sam. There is something so special about seeing your childhood close friend be a mommy and the love that you possess for their baby, too!

I hiked with my wonderful hiking mommy friends one Saturday, so Eric and Ellie had their very first daddy daughter date!! How exciting and special!! Eric took Ellie to a really awesome event held by 5 Point church in Easley where there were several Disney Princesses, story time, wands, and cookie making. They brought me home a cookie which I happily devoured after a 9 mile upward trek. Ellie wore her little Snow-White dress and Eric made sure she got to be part of everything going on. He is such an amazing Daddy.

Ellie spoke her first word this past month, which was "Dada!" I previously blogged about that because it was too too sweet and special! The next day Ellie told Blondie, clear as day, "Hey!" We think she says something like "mom" when she cries and reaches out for me...but it is not clear enough to be positively sure. My time will come!

We celebrated Dr. Seuss' birthday by dressing up as Cat in the Hat, Thing 1&2 and a Fox in Socks. We read his books and listened to some that we do not own while playing.

 Can't you see how thrilled Cajun is!? ;)

We hiked and ran a ton this past month together. We saw some new places and faces which is always fun!! Blondie even went on one 6 mile hike with us and did awesome. Ellie LOVES Blondie so so much.

We spent Ellie's First St. Patrick's day in Georgia with cousins to celebrate LaLa and JoJo turning 3 this month. Ellie had SO much fun playing outside all day long with her cousins. They pushed her around in a little red car Mimi and G-Daddy brought her to play with. They took their turns holding her, helping her walk, and playing with her toys. Then Eric and I ventured off on our own with Ellie on my back to hike about 4-5 miles up to the top of the highest trail and back down. By the time we got back, are legs were jell-o and we were covered in sweat. It was SO steep but so much fun and such a good workout. Ellie slept the entire time in her carrier.

Ellie met the Easter bunny for the very first time at Chick-fil-a on Woodruff Rd. Y'all know I love my baby to take her to a FREE event, on WOODRUFF RD. after work, at the most beloved fast food place because they are so sweet and filled to the brim with Jesus up in there! We waited for an hour, it was past sweet girl's bed time (and she takes that seriously); but she was just so happy and sweet and smiley as could be. She was in her Daddy's arms and that is the best place in her world to be! She did very well with the Easter bunny. She rubbed his face like it was Blondie she was petting, then turned to look at Daddy and smile! This was her first encounter, but y'all know I had to take her to see him again at every possible chance I could get. We go to all the fun activities as possible for little Miss. My sister and parents were good about teaching me to get to every little event I could with the kids because it is so special. And while she may not remember right now, she will always know her Mommy and Daddy would do anything for her, give her the world, the shirt off our backs, anything to see her smile.

We went to Greer one weekend for Ellie's first Easter Egg Hunt and to see the Easter Bunny again. We got to see a few of our friends who live out there and they took so many awesome and memorable pictures for us! It was such a beautifully organized event and so fun!

We dyed Easter eggs with Ellie for the first time! She had glitter eggs, and glitter tie-dye eggs!

We did another Easter event for Ellie in Clemson. An Easter egg hunt, train ride, visit with the Easter Bunny, and hot dogs for Eric. Then we showed Ellie around some our favorite parts of Clemson's campus. We showed her where I used to spend my time when I was hanging out in college there, where Daddy will be continuing his chemical engineering degree there on campus, Death Valley, Howard's rock, and Bowman Field where we had a small pic-nic for Ellie. Then that evening we took Ellie to a festival in downtown Clemson. It was a really wonderful sunny, warm, and happy family day with Ellie. She loved sitting up and staring and looking around at all of the beautiful campus. There is something in those hills.

Other photos of her past month:

Ellie's First Tooth!

Ellie loves to eat dirt. I don't like feed it to her obviously, but you know, if she grabs a little and gets a taste...I am not the mom who freaks out of over that. "God made dirt; dirt 'don't' hurt!" has always been my motto. So...

Ellie and I went on a beautiful 6 mile hike with some of our hiking friends and Blondie today at Paris Mountain. While pausing for our snack break by the North Lake, I noticed Ellie grab some dirt along with her watermelon. There were some small rocks around so I did want to make sure she did not grab a little rock. I gently and cautiously did a little shallow finger sweep along her gums and cheeks to feel. I didn't feel a rock however, felt something almost like a small piece of gravel in her bottom gum. Wanting to make sure it wasn't lose debri, I pushed Ellie's bottom lip down and that is when we all saw her very first little tooth budding from her gum!!! I was so excited I began asking my friends, "Is that a tooth?! That's not a tooth is it?! Oh my gosh she has a tooth!!!!" They all rejoiced with me and confirmed that it was a tooth and Ellie feeling proud and joyous herself began smiling so big trying to show off that one little bud of a tooth poking through. She made happy squealy sounds (as did I).

I am so proud of that tooth!! My baby never acted any way different as I would expect for a teether....yet....I'm sure the joy will turn to more of a sigh as this progresses tooth by tooth, but currently, we are all big grins in the Gladden household and relishing in yet another first for Miss Ellie!! Just days shy of 8 months, her first precious tooth! Thank You, God for growth for Ellie and the joy it brings!

You Know You're a Mommy When...

Poop. I have never cared more about it than I have in the past nearly 8 months. Never in my life did I think I would find myself analyzing it. "What is this funky color?"...{checks google about baby poop.} "Should it be this solid, moist, (insert adjective here)??" Last week I got EXCITED y'all..EXCITED to see 3 blueberry "shells" in her poop. "Yay!! you actually got at least 3 blueberries in your tummy!!" "Good job!!" Then the next week...a WHOLE blueberry was in the diaper of poop. Yeah...like it had not even been smushed....I don't know if this is a mom thing or maybe I am just weird on an extra level but I went there y'all. I did it. I took a wipe...and I mashed the blueberry to confirm my thoughts that indeed the blueberry made it into her poop completely unscathed. "Squish!" It squirts out blueberry juice like a fresh little berry picked at the farm. What does that mean?! Did she even reap nutrients from this blueberry?! How did it come out whole?! The questions I ask myself these days. Also...I have never typed that word oh so many times. My apologies to the queasy stomachs. "Gross" things have never bothered me. Probably one reason I loved working in surgery. Anyway...

If you are still reading....

You know you are a Mommy When...

Full poopy diapers and wet diapers happen and you get excited. Nourishment y'all! We are doing good, mamas!

You finally get to go out on a date night with your man so you pull out the razor to shave those legs, and feel like you are about to go off to the prom simply because you put on something other than track pants and a ball cap and maybe even a little lip stick. And wow...the hair actually gets to see a style besides the messy mom bun! All dolled up and ready to stay out late and soak in the moment only to be worn slap out exhausted, can't stop yawning no matter how much fun you're having by 9:30 p.m. falling asleep in the car ride home from the date.

You do everything you can in the car ride home with the little one to keep them awake because you are oh so close to home and then you can toss them in the crib for a nap!!! Because heaven knows they will fall asleep after a 40 minute drive only 5 minutes from home, then wake up like a screaming banshee and will NOT lay back down until some play time and food has gotten into their systems. And when I say do "Everything" you can to keep them awake...y'all...I will sing like a dying crow at the top of my lungs to keep her awake just 5 more minutes. But apparently I must have always sung this way because she finds it oddly comforting. Bless.

You go to drink your water....it's not water. It's the bottle of formula. Yup. And this is on a full night of sleep. OR...you go to make your protein shake for lunch and stop yourself within milliseconds of almost pouring formula into the shaker instead of the protein powder.

You will eat almost anything now. She has had her sloppy slobbery little mouth all over something. Salivating all over a piece of food. She doesn't finish it. Rather than waste it....why not eat it yourself? I have finished her grimy little cheese sticks, mushed up fruit, licked my finger covered in her yogurt. Don't ask me why. I don't know. I just do, ok? And I know I am not alone! Haha!!

A moment to actually shower and just stand there letting warm water hit your back is nearly equivalent to a day at the spa. "You mean I don't have to rush out and hurry as fast as I can?!!" AHHHH!!!

Boogers. Picking boogers with your bare fingers. Ellie had one today that was huge-mongous and in the parking lot of Hobby Lobby with Lauren, I ninja whipped that booger out of there. I even showed Lauren. I was proud to have retrieved that thing from her little snotty nose. It is so satisfying getting those out of her head because otherwise, when she inhales and exhales, they kick in and out of her nostril like a little door flap.

You can recite every song the toys sing on repeat. Their lyrics are literally life right now. I hear them in my sleep. I hear them at the gym. Those tunes may take years to leave my head.

You also sing everything in high pitched, joyful, exciting tune because seeing smiles and making everything magical is awesome. Even when you are out of breath by the end of the day.

You become a pro-wrestler almost instantly once they start crawling. Diaper changes are so interesting these days.

You become a master of schemes and deception and playing the mind to get things done. Yes. Even with a nearly 8 month old I am already having to trick her. Until she figures out my scheme then on to the next master plan.

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Ladies....you know you are a mommy when you can't wait for the clock to strike the hour of bedtime just so you can sit down and unwind....only to immediately miss their little face(s) and stare at them on the baby monitor just to look at those cheeks and fuzzy little head and hiny sticking up in the air.

You go shopping for yourself  to get new clothes on your few hours of "me" time, only to return home with new clothes or toys for the baby and nothing new for you.

You have never hurt more in your life physically or emotionally than when your baby is crying and sad, scared, or upset.

You feel love and passion at the mention of your baby coursing through you like an F5 tornado and you just explode in smiles and or comments of love about your cutie.

You are so much more proud of their accomplishments and the joy they have in their accomplishments than of anything you have ever worked for towards your own personal advancement in your life. Nothing I have ever accomplished....and I consider myself to be one who has by God's grace accomplished much....can even begin to try and compare to or top the thrills, excitement, and pride I fill with when Ellie accomplishes what she has worked hard towards. Crawling, feeding herself, nearly walking, rolling over, sitting up, starting to talk, learning how to play games with us......she is my greatest accomplishment, after all. How could anything ever make me more proud than when she is proud of herself?!

Ask me my dream job? I will always say, "Mommy!" Everything I do in life falls into the structure of first wanting to seek and please God and have Him with me in all things. Serving my husband, leaning on my husband, helping him, and relishing in our love that stems from being best friends and first being in love with Jesus. Teaching my daughter, helping her learn, grow, experience much joy, excitement and opportunities. Putting myself on the back burner for all these things so that they may thrive and thus we thrive as one family, together.

I am so so so thankful to be the woman of this household. What an honor. What a privilege. What a truly deep blessing and precious thing to know I am a mommy to Ellie, and wife to Eric, and child of God!

Glitter, Dog Hair, and Onion Skin

Welcome to my kitchen floor. No..I am not posting a photo because...not necessary. Use your imaginations.

Weekly...maybe even bi-weekly...I thoroughly clean this rental home we are blessed to be in. The floors always blow my mind. Life brings in a lot of junk during one week's time.

A few weeks ago I was cleaning while Ellie took her nap and I was amazed that this tiny little kitchen we have could possess so much "blugh!" I had one huge tumbleweed full of blonde and auburn dog hair, glitter from Ellie's Easter eggs and crafts, chunks of purple onion skin that had flaked off while transferring an onion from the pantry to the counter for a chopping. There was dirt, and pieces of dog food.

Rather than be begrudged of the dirt and heap we had acquired in a week (no matter how hard I work to maintain during the week- if you know me- I am a clean freak), I actually felt myself smile and feel pretty happy. I lie not, kid not. This was the truth.

I looked at this nasty heap of what was soon to be tossed in the trash and I was filled with thanks to God. This dirt showed me my blessings. Glitter; we have a beautiful baby girl who is healthy. Who can play. Who can make crafts and enjoy girly things to squeal and be excited about. Dog hair and food; (usually my biggest complaint) that we have two fur babies who protect us well, love us, keep us warm, and laughing. Onion skin; that we have food...healthy food...to cook with every day and nourish our bodies well. That God has provided us health in giving us good food. That we do not worry about what we shall eat or drink. (Praise Praise Praise God!) And dirt; that our life has fun and adventure in it. That we go places and explore God's handiwork and are able to be mobile enough to track in dirt (even though we take our shoes off at the door ;) ).

Sometimes cleaning and rushing to get it all done can be stressful...but I am so thankful the Holy Spirit lives in me and I got to see my life through His eyes. My dirt is full of blessings from above. Thank You, Lord!

"Dada"

Well! It happened! Ellie said her first official word! "Dada!"

It was such a sweet experience. We Three E's + Blondie went to Jones Gap late this afternoon to take some pictures of Ellie to satisfy my pinterest bucket list of things to do with Ellie as well as to just hang out and relax as a family. For those who always ask about Cajun....he is old. He was happy to have the house to himself in complete silence, trust me. We did him a favor! Once we got back home, we were playing with Ellie and helping her to wear completely out before bedtime routine. She was in my arms climbing up my shoulders when she looked down on the floor and saw Eric. They made eye contact and smiled big at each other...Ellie's entire face lighting up and eyes being swollowed by big happy cheeks...she utters, "Dada!" It was the purest sweetest moment! Eric and I both gasped in excitement, surprise, joy, and delight! We freaked out a little!

And as the wife of this "Dada," I want to add my proud wifey two cents. This man works full time, goes to school almost full time so that he can achieve his chemical engineer dreams and also provide for us girls so we can live the life we believe God has called us to. He works late hours balancing both disciplines. He sees Ellie usually only 2, maybe 3 days a week (this semester)(And praise God this will all be temporary). But that little girl knows who her daddy is because when he is home...he is present and involved and all about his time with Ellie! He pursues little Ellie and she looks for him when he leaves a room. She cries when we leave him in the car. She knows her Daddy's voice, smell, and touch. She not only needs her daddy, she wants him, loves him, and trusts him. As she should. I am so so thankful she has him as her daddy. She is a very fortunate little lady and she clearly knows that!

No wonder she called out to the best man in her world, her Dada!

Mom Life...Reality

#MomLifeIsTheBestLife

There is no truer statement. Or um...hashtag...or as Eric says "pound sign" Haha!!

Mom Life is also easily defined as one of the most challenging, exhausting, self sacrificing, experimental, what in the world, joyous, pleasurable, fun, most rewarding, immeasurably happiest moments of life.

Let me tell you what I mean. (Mamas, I know you know exactly what I feel.)

Two nights ago. Ellie is sitting only in her diaper in her high chair as she continues exploring food for herself with her hands and learning to feed herself. Baby Led Weaning. She has done a pretty great job of it. Some days I am amazed at how much she eats, others, frustrated because I feel she only consumed a crumb and fed Blondie 3/4 of the organic veggie filled oat muffins I slaved in the kitchen over for this one young mouth. This particular evening, Ellie had eaten quite a good amount. However, she began getting frustrated by dinner time and wouldn't touch anything other than to slap it and throw it to the floor. Frustrated, seeing she wasn't going to eat any further, I took a breath, and got up to motion in sign language, "All Done!" Just before my hands lifted to the air, Ellie looked as if she were choking. My medical training and mommy adrenaline all burst out of me immediately as I sprang into action to help her. Oh but thank God, she was not choking. She was vomiting ....(Not that this is good...but certainly better than the alternative!) Praise God, Ellie has never been sick, yet, therefore; I have never seen her throw up. Spit up is obviously different. Once she threw up what I can only suspect was just too much food.....She smiled up at me and I stood there, jaw on the floor, hands out with my fingers sprawled wide open as if waiting to catch something, and legs in a ready to run pose, eyes bulging out of my head. I was frozen. Oh. my. Word. Eric is still at work at this time. It was just me, a puke covered and dripping baby, and two dogs locked in the screened porch with severely muddy paws and bodies thanks to the excessive rain and our tiny patch of grass at this rental that Blondie has worn muddy tracks in. Another deep breath. Can't just stand here. I picked Ellie up and stripped her dripping diaper off and sat her on the floor. Quickly I wiped her vomit off the floor before she crawled into it to play. Yuck. But then of course, she pees. She starts crawling around and splashing in her pee. Covered head to toe in guacamole, cheese, and red staining raspberries. She was smiling and laughing so hard. My eyes were still bulging out of my head. I left the pee on the floor. Picked up Ellie and threw her into a warm bath- put her in her pjs (luckily this all went down 10 minutes before her bedtime). Put her securely in her room and ran to grab Blondie and Cajun and wipe them up and let them in. Blondie was certainly going to need a bath before I was allowing her to touch anything. I closed her up in our bathroom. Prissy Cajun can't stand to get dirty so he easily got cleaned up and was resting in our room. Ran back to Ellie who was happily playing. I began to put her to bed. Praise the Lord, Eric returned home, kissed Ellie, then laughing at my texts, "Crime scene, enter with caution" "Blondie is in jail" ...he proceeded to bathe our poor crazy pup. Once I laid Ellie down, I mopped up and Lysol'ed the kitchen thoroughly, poured a glass of wine and served up supper.

I had to laugh at all this. And Eric surely did as well....a little harder than I....

There are times I start to feel like, "Hey! I'm getting this! We are on a roll now!" And inevitably, as is life, a change occurs as Ellie grows and develops (which is always good) just something new to figure out. More to learn about her, who she is, what she likes, wants, needs. She is very good at her communication skills with us thankfully, so usually with help from my sister, mom, and close mommy friends, within another day or three, we are back to being on a roll....until the next halting stop, of course, where am I like, "What are you doing?!" "What is this new thing?!"  And this will be all of life so long as God blesses me with air to breathe.

Parenting is such an adventure. The best one I have ever dared to explore. It is not for the weak or faint of heart. I have so much love for this little person. My breath catches almost every night when I hold her tight. I literally skip breaths and gasp at the joy that is Ellie.

Some days, when I feel it has been a challenging day in the life of a parent and I feel inadequate or like a failure, I laugh as I realize, moms of older children probably remember these days and these exact struggles and they know all too well that with age and each new season of life there are new challenges and things to learn as parents as well as wonderful new joys and excitement and celebrations. The hard days are so few and so short and the good days are far more prevalent and really just what makes all of parenthood worth it (really, just looking at her face alone is all I need to keep me going). I also laugh at my own struggles when I realize how lucky I am to have the "good baby." The baby that has slept 14 hours a night since she was one month old, who naps well, who is always happy, who is "easy." I know my challenging days could be more challenging and I find it so hilarious that God knows just how far I can be pushed to my breaking point (which is not far---ask any of my closest friends or family). God had grace on my parenthood by giving me a truly happy and "easy" baby even when there are days I feel like a more seasoned parent should step in and tell me what in the world to do for the benefit of our little household. I want to be the best mommy possible for Ellie and for God Who granted Eric and I this major and incredibly large and important responsibility. So when the "challenging" days come and I have bawled my heart out and frantically sought resolution from my sister who I consider to be an expert, I can still see my miracle, my God, and my Joy. I can see that God trusted me with her growth, care, happiness, health, knowledge, heart, and mind. It is the very most important role I have ever been given in my life. As well as my greatest joy, always. Anything- person who makes you feel these wild emotions is simply the very most wonderful part of living life.

5 out of 7 days I feel like we are really striving and thriving, she and I. But no child nor any parent is perfect. So to myself and all precious mamas out there...remember to have grace with yourself just as our perfect Father in Heaven does with us, His children. Cry your tears, dust off your hands, and take a deep breath, laugh if you can (because this is every parent), seek guidance from God and trustworthy friends and family, and keep pursuing the needs of your precious child!

Because, mom life....really is the very best life!

The Symptom I Ignored

I had my last heart check up and echocardiogram in September and all looked great post-partum. I got back to racing and heavy exercise that I had missed so much during pregnancy and recovery. I lost all of my baby weight and then some. My energy has been higher than ever, my performance level in running and weights at an all time high and best. I've never felt stronger or better or performed this well. Eating right as always.....and yes...I eat PLENTY! This girl loves to eat. Food is a love language, I swear.

However, I noticed in October ish I would stand up and begin to black out, get dizzy and fuzzy. Tunnel vision...little black dots closing in on my vision. My head light and heavy at the same time. I would have to hold a wall, a counter, a railing. I even had one event I came down to a knee I got so off kilter. Give it a few seconds, all would be normal again. This happens almost at least once a day if not more; it is more often than anyone would find normal. Never does this happen when I run or hike or am vigorous in my activity. It has only been happening when getting up from sitting a while, or when bending over picking up and cleaning up toys. It has been happening almost every day at least once a day since October-ish.

I figured then, "Hmm...maybe I need to really be chugging water? Get up slower?" I have been conscientious to keep track of these things at this time. No variable I change has given me a new result. I figured I would mention it to my cardiologist the next time I saw her but felt no immediate need to call about it. (Forgetting and taking for granted that she always tells me to call if something changes). However, I have been bothered, as of late, it has been happening so frequently despite what I do to try and help it. Blood sugar, possibly? Who knows? Honestly, it did not really concern me. I didn't make it a priority of concern.

I then gave a speech as a guest speaker recently with another CHD friend. I told her about what has been going on because she and I are fairly similar with our defects. She has already had a valve replacement and when it was time for her surgery, she basically presented asymptomatic, and was in surgery like 9 days later after meeting with our doctor. She had just had her second child not that long before this event took place. She was 30. So, I confided in her as we have a literal heart and soul connection, after hearing these details from her. She encouraged me to call our doctor before my next visit which was due to be on March 7th. Speaking with her reminded me that no matter how small, any abnormal physical symptom needs to be addressed. Especially in our case, but really for all people. It is so important to keep in check with our bodies and the signals they send us. I preach it, and I too, need to do it!

The thing about having the blessing of living an unrestricted, perfectly normal, healthy, happy lifestyle even with my conditions, is that I tend to forget I am a heart patient. My healthy lifestyle is very normal for me, it is not something I have to try for or remind myself to do. It is natural. So I just don't really think much about it. I forget that I am a heart patient and therefore that one day, eventually, in likely the near-ish future, I will need to have what looks to be another open heart surgery for a biological valve at MUSC. I forget that while I am stable, I am not fixed. I forget that I am slowly wearing out. It is so subtle...you just don't notice! Therefore, I forget that I need to pay extra attention to these little abnormalities. Let this be a lesson to all, CHD or not. We all need to pay attention to our body signals, no matter how subtle. This has been a good reminder to me, too. It is vital to keep in check with your doctors and their knowledge and care. They obtained their education and knowledge and insight with a purpose and we need to lean on their skills, knowledge, and compassion as we care for our bodies. We need to respect our bodies and our specialists instructions and guidelines for care.

I called my cardiologist and she did want to see me before the time we had initially scheduled. So, Monday, I went to her office and paid her a visit. Eric met me there, both of us praying this abnormal symptom was something as low key as my blood sugar being low and not an indicator for surgery.

Up until this visit, as I began remembering who I am, a heart patient, I found my weak place and I cried and let my mind wander to places it does no good to dwell in. I then picked myself up, called on Jesus, called on friends who had a clear mind to talk to Jesus, and I told Him my feelings. And I told Him I trusted Him. I prayed for Him to calm me down so I can focus on being present for Ellie. And He has. He has calmed me. I am currently at peace. I always have peace when I call on Him, even through tears, in knowing He is my savior. Spiritually and physically, and it is His name and purpose I serve on this earth. I serve Him in many ways but I believe my heart is His biggest vessel to others on this earth.

With those raw emotions, thoughts, and feelings, and reminders about heart health (and health in general) here is what we found out Monday. It seems .......drumroll please......"I am getting healthier and stronger." Y'all I smiled so big when she told me this. What?! Because of this, my blood pressure has gotten even lower...I have always had a slightly lower BP as it is. And because my BP is too low this is what causes me to get woozy and start blacking out when I stand up. She told me easily how to fix this. Super simple solution. What a blessing to hear this was the problem. Stronger and Healthier. God did this. My doctor did this. And my self-discipline and healthy lifestyle did this. This makes me so happy to see that there is truly purpose in the lifestyle I live, caring for my heart and body. Results. I get results. Positive results. I just need to make sure I stay well hydrated and get my BP up a bit to meet the demands of my physical activities! God is so good and I don't know how He could bless me so well when I so don't deserve it.

But listen guys, I wrote this with the point being.....please remember to listen to your body signals no matter how small and insignificant they seem. They may be nothing, but they may also be something. You are putting your family first by taking care of your health first.

God bless!