I put my back to the bathroom wall, toothbrush in one hand, stick in the other. I slid down to the floor. I started laughing then stopped. Then I cried tears of joy briefly before stopping to laugh again. Then I shook all of that off and said, "No way." Then think to myself, It's only been two months....Is this what this really feels like? How amazing....I think I am actually pregnant!" *Sits on floor for what seemed like seconds but was actually many minutes. Too many minutes. Like 45 minutes... Staring. Staring at two pink lines.*
I drive my 30 minute commute to work. Smiling. Dreaming. Heart pounding. "Today I'll eat oatmeal AND eggs! Eggs are good for baby! A baby!! Wow!" Pull in. Park. Prepare to walk through office door. All smiles and chipper as a Spring chick. Savannah is on her phone calling me, pacing near the door. "Are you ok?! She asks flustered and obviously anxious. I looked at her like she was crazy. "Yes, I'm fine..why? Is everything ok?" She now is looking at me deeply confused...."Em...you are an hour late....you are always like... an hour early...nobody was here to open up...are you sure you are ok?" Then looks at me like she knows my secret- starting to smile ....and she did...but I was not saying a peep! Lips on lock-down! I turned away to hide my face.
"Oh gosh! I'm an hour late?! Oh my word!!" Enter Lauren Lockaby: "You are an hour late. Are you ok? We thought something happened to you!" Her eyes take note of my 2 bowls of food instead of my regular one. I am after all, a creature of habit. Apparently just one of the things that gave my secret away. I say, "Hey guys!! Good morning!!" I greet my other friends. Brandi leans to whisper..."She's eating eggs!!" Lauren: "What does that mean?!" Brandi: "Eggs are good for babies!!" Confirming Lauren's suspicion.
I sat in a constant daydream...smiling at my eggs like they were the winning lottery ticket. Then Lauren, not one to ever cease from making me laugh with her wit boldly says, "So Em, do anything special this morning? Like..... pee on a stick?" I sucked in my cheeks to hide my smile and stuffed my mouth with eggs. "I don't know what you are talking about. You are so stupid." (A term of endearment. She is one of my very most favorite people in the world.) I get up to go to my office. Lauren states as I walk out, "You aren't even upset you are an hour late! Not normal for you! I know you are pregnant!" "Whatever, Lauren!" I say, smiling like a fool!
I was so excited to tell Eric he was going to be a Daddy!!
And while the first 10 weeks of Ellie's life in my tummy were the scariest most unknowing times I have ever experienced as we battled 2 near miscarriages and overcame, the pregnancy was a very good one! She is my only pregnancy and my miracle baby! A year ago tomorrow, I found out that mine and Eric's biggest dreams were coming true! It is one of the most memorable and wonderful days of my life! What an extraordinary feeling to see two pink lines after many prayers! The day before Thanksgiving...what a blessing to be Thankful for! She is our greatest blessing and joy and we are so thankful for how to pink lines turned into our Ellie!
Oh so faint but oh so sweet!
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