Teething Terror Yet Happy Tears

Matthew 25:23 says, "His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'

In the darkness of the nursery, the Holy Spirit spoke this passage into my heart to bring me peace and one huge blessing amidst what could have been a terrible mildly tormentuous time. 

9 p.m.- Eric and I head to bed to rest our bodies for a very busy week ahead for all. 

9 p.m.- wails, screeches, hysterical screams and crying from the nursery. 

"What on earth?!" 

Ellie has slept peacefully all night long every night in her crib since she was 4 weeks old. However, now she is encountering so many changes. I thought at first maybe she had a night terror. I let her cry it out after checking on her and seeing all things that could be wrong appeared to be good. But, 15 minutes later Ellie was still in hysterics and my mommy alarms and instincts were tingling. Something is up. But what!? So I went in her room and held her in the dark until she was completely calm. She refused violently, any milk. I did a diaper change and a tummy and leg massage with her lotion and held her until she was so happy, she was talking to the lit up stars and moon on her ceiling, projected from her night light. Seeming ok, I laid her back down. Only to throw back into hysterics. This all continued for another hour. I finally, about to panic as I was not sure what was actually wrong, texted my sister. My go to in all things Ellie. After some back and forth of details she was certain Ellie was in much pain from teething. So, to the nursery I returned.

Here is where it got awesome. I grabbed the 8 oz bottle I had previously made and entered the nursery. Little Flicker instantly stopped screaming and told me, "Hey!" I told her it was all ok, Mommy is here! I picked her up and held her and whispered to her while rubbing her fuzzy head until her body calmed down from tears, and frazzledness. Then, I gave her the Tylenol and proceeded to cradle her and rock her in the glider for the next 30 minutes. I just sat there, holding her, rubbing her little head and cheek. I began to cry. I was not crying out of a let down of frustration or anxiety. No. I was actually crying overwhelmingly joyful tears. I sat there in the darkness by the dim light of her little elephant light, feeling the very flesh that God allowed to be part of my own flesh, and even more preciously, part of my husband's own flesh, flesh I grew by God's miraculous grace. I felt her soft cheek and soft fuzzy hair on my fingertips. I felt her calmed heart beating on my other hand. I heard her soft and slowed breathing. God made me and allowed me the greatest honor and blessing of being this little girl's mommy. I am her mommy!!! That is so incredible to me. I am the one who gets to be blessed with these moments of getting to soothe her wary heart. I am the one who gets to comfort her and make it better. God allowed me this responsibility and I just can't see how I deserve this very precious gift that is Ellie. 

As I sat there quietly crying in awe of God and in awe of her.... Ellie, as if moved by God Himself, then turned to me and I swear, spoke to me through her eyes. Do you moms know what I mean?? In this very dark room, these little eyes looked at me, these little hands grabbed my face so lovingly and softly, and I knew with everything in me that she was telling me, God was allowing me to know, that she loves me. She is thankful for me. That I am her mommy and she is so happy for that. She looked at me and her eyes told me she loves me. God spoke Ellie's heart to me tonight through Ellie's eyes. Call me crazy but it is truly true. The screaming and wailing, the pain she must be in, clearly, is and was terrible, all I wanted was to go to sleep, and because I patiently and lovingly did what mommies do, because I love my Ellie more than my own life, God allowed me to be rewarded with her love. 

"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'

God put me in charge of Ellie. I am a faithful (at least I try to be!) servant to God, primarily. I am a servant to my husband, secondarily. (I can serve my husband and still be an equal, respected, valued and loved partner, for those who cringe at women who live to serve, help, and submit to their husbands as God calls us) and third, I am a servant to my beautiful daughter, Ellie. And while I was so ready to sleep and I was truthfully initially annoyed at her crying ...because, "why are you crying!?", I buried myself and rose to her demands and God rewarded that with showing me Ellie's love and appreciation. God allowed me to see how I was able to help Ellie feel better. God rewarded me in the most precious and meaningful way, ever. God brought me to happy tears in the middle of terrible teething.