My sister is something else. Really. I've never met anybody else on earth quite like her. She is weird and ridiculous and makes me laugh. We have almost always been close. Growing up we were so super close. She used to rough up kids who picked on me or wouldn't let me play with the toys I wanted while I was in pre-school and she was in K-5. She protected me and also acted like a mommy to me. Meaning, she spanked me when she thought I deserved it....and I thought she was allowed because I was too naive to know any better. That also means she took care of me. If I needed my milk poured, she poured it. If I needed homework help, she helped. Please note....these things continued up until the time she left home for college. Yes. She was pouring milk for me for a total of 15 years. She spoiled me rotten. She also kept me out of trouble by getting on to me before I ventured off into the trouble I was planning. She kept me innocent. She kept me guarded. She read scriptures to me when I went to bed. She read me scriptures to soothe my hurting heart and help me behave kindly when drama with dumb girls happened. She sacrificed so much for me and still does. She has always put me ahead of herself.
She has made me angrier than almost anybody else could. She has scared the snot out of me. She has annoyed me. She has made me cry.
But that is all normal. I've surely hurt her more.
My sister has been one of my biggest cheerleaders all of my life. She has encouraged me in my running, my faith, my relationships, marriage, motherhood, basketball, schooling, she has made everything that is important to me one of her top priorities.
I have many happy memories with my sister. So so so many wonderful memories from as far back as possible to remember. And then, home videos help me to witness how good she has always been to me beyond my memory. Videos have evidenced me crawling as a little baby to my sister who was set up in the hallway of my first home as a Clardy, playing and listening to tape recording stories. A ranch home in Williamston. I crawled up to her and kept attempting to mess with and eat and chew and ruin everything she was playing with. And she...being like 4 years old, responded like such a mature big girl so lovingly. She simply sweetly sang her stories to me and sweetly moved her items from my reach, yet still included me. If that had been me I am sure I would have pitched a tantrum. She is rare and her love for me is unreal. I have grown up pulling her hair, pinching her, slapping her, and attempting to beat her up. (Because we are siblings and we fight, ok?) I was always physical and she was always verbal. The girl is an ox and I am a twig, easily broken. However, in all of my 27.5 years, she has only ever retaliated once. She has only ever hit me one time in all my life. And she warned me she was going to do it. So I pushed her buttons because I knew she wouldn't. Becasue I was an annoying younger sibling. She did. She knocked me out to the floor. I cried. She cried harder because she hated herself for doing it even though I annoyingly provoked it.
Many times she has understood me better than most anyone. She knows how to be gentle and patient with me. She knows how to listen to me and really hear me. She knows all of the things that are important to my heart and she invests in them. She has such grace with me it is just shy of Jesus. (Because His grace is perfect). Even after she became a mom for the first time, she treated me still with a maternal love and grace. She cuddled me in bed and listened to all of my dreams for my life. She let me show her what I was planning, creating, desiring, dreaming up on Pinterest. She made all of my desires seem so cool and achievable.
She knew I was in love with Eric before I ever even told her he existed.
She has helped me be a better me, even though I always resist her advice initially.
She and I are 100% different. Our physical builds, mental builds, fears, emotions, skills, interests....all completely different. I have no filter and she holds too much in. Where I am weak, she is strong...and vice versa. We make a solid team when we pull together. She lets me be a feisty spit ball who acts likes a tough cookie (even though I am not). She has endured so much from me but she really has helped to mold and shape me into the person I am.
For example. Kelsey was my entire childhood. All of my best memories revolve around my sister. She created all the games we played together. She is so creative in a way I am not. She is not crafty, but she is imaginative. You could never ever be bored with her. If you are her friend, and you are bored....you are cray and you aren't encouraging her to be her best self because she is hilarious and kind of stupid funny and really fun. She would teach me fun little school lessons. She would actually plan an entire lesson for me including videos, worksheets, coloring pages, games, and an activity. What is really cool is she actually taught me things I still remember to this day and she instilled in me one of my greatest loves which is dinosaurs. I think dinosaurs are so cool. I cannot wait to ask God about them one day. You know that is probably something I won't care about once I am in His visible presence....but....I currently want to ask God all about the dinosaurs and scriptures. My sister and Jurassic Park on the daily basis at my babysitter's house in K-5 gave me that love and passion.
She played dress up with me and we sang songs and put on productions with a record player. We made cookies and snacks together and tried nasty concoctions of food, together. We ate all the "Gogurt" in Anderson county as kids trying to win a trip they were promoting. She taught me to make snow forts, climb, race, create, be silly, and to be who God created me to be. I believe I have been able to use all the lessons she gave me as a child through love, play, and her own love of education to also help her in adulthood to appreciate the wonderful person she is. She is too kind and too gentle and too good. She deserves the world. I am hard and she is soft. She will forgive and forgive and I am not as willing. We balance each other and help to find the middle ground. She is care free and I am uptight as can be. I worry and she laughs. I don't care about people's opinions and she lives to please. We are both bubbly and bright and smiley. I hate to be mushy with her but she loves it so much her hugs hurt me they are so big and tight. I need her love and her interest but don't like to tell her that. I don't think she reads my blog so I can be mushy all I want here. I really love my sister. I love who she is even when it annoys me and I want to smack her upside the head. I am so thankful she loves me no matter how much rougher around the edges I am and not quite like her. I need her to love me and want to cheer me on. Without that love and support of my sister, I am missing something I have relied on all of my life.
And goodness gracious motherhood. Forget about it. Ellie has an amazing family surrounding her. Eric and I both know we are excellent parents but we also know we need help and guidance from those we love and trust best when some things are new and beyond us. And good parenting is also being able to admit when you need to ask for help! Ellie's Aunt Keka has taught me almost everything I know. Everything that has been successful with Ellie such as good sleeper, advanced movement, and good eater....all this comes from the lessons Kelsey has given me at all hours of the night. At this point we now have a phone code. If I call once, it is to chat. If I call more than once back to back and she doesn't answer, she better drop everything and call me back because Mama Emmay is about to lose her ever loving mind as to what to do for Ellie. She left church service one night to calm me, teach me, and encourage me about baby led weaning with Ellie. She was meant to be a nurturing mother. She has been doing that since she was 3 years old. She told everybody that I was HER baby. She has given Ellie 75% of her belongings. She taught me how to bathe Ellie. Kelsey is not just a parent to her 4 children, she is my third parent; I am her 5th child (but really her 1st). I was born really with 3 parents. Only... one of them I got to get into trouble with and beat up.
Her lack of caring about a perfectly clean house makes my skin crawl and scream. She, as an adult....has still managed to damage my belongings with her nail polish. UGH!!! Why is she so not careful with makeup, grease, and crumbs?! She spills EVERYTHING!!! I used to clean her house when I lived with her on weekends in Lexington. It grates my nerves. My uptightness grates hers. I could count on like one hand all the times my sister has actually ever gotten upset with me. My uptightness and overseeing really drives her crazy. As it would anybody. These are things that will never change. Our future Thanksgiving and Christmas gatherings once my parents are too old to want to host are going to be something else. We cooked dinner together once. She was pregnant with the twins. She was in my kitchen. She made me be sleep deprived to cook all night long. She cooks way too much food. Like. seriously. All you need is mac and cheese, rolls, and a little meat. And an apple pie. She makes like a bajillion different dishes because she is too sweet and wants to please every single person in this very large family of ours. I respect it but mercy alive it is just too much. I am sure we will rally together in the end. We know how each other ticks. I am thankful that I get to have her in my life forever to be the one who annoys the ever loving goodness right out of me in the kitchen and bathroom.
I did get a little mushy with her the other night because she is just seriously incredible and she selflessly helped me do life again, more importantly, she helped me, help Ellie to feel better from teething. And I told her, I was so thankful knowing she was my family to grow old with once mama and Daddy are gone. Knowing we have each other for love and support always is truly a blessing. I have never thought of her so sentimentally before but she really is a treasure. It would be awful to be left by your parents one day with nobody to lean on. I know she will outlive me because I can't seem to live without her as it is.
Anyway. I am also thankful for her beautiful children I get to call my nieces and nephews. It is insanely important to me to be close to them and for them to really love and know me as an aunt and friend. An Aunt they see more than once a year. An aunt who they know also loves them and wants to have their interests, dreams, and desires at her heart. An aunt who is present in their lives and truly knows who they are. I want Ellie to be their sibling more than their cousin. We will likely never give Ellie a sibling so her cousins are incredibly important for her to lean on and know closely. To fight with and care for. So they may grow old together with love and support. I want the Jones and Gladden clan to be strong. I'll never stop giving Kelsey a hard time because she needs it. She is too good and she needs a feather ruffler in her life. That's me. I like to ruffle feathers.
I will close by saying this....No blog could ever be enough space to write about the goodness and blessing my sister is to me. No blog could ever hold the love we have for each other or the good times we have created and will continue creating. I am truly blessed with a wonderful sister. I love her and I am so so so grateful for her. Even when I want to slap her. So, if you have a sibling, no matter how different you may be, show them you love them always and forever.
Happy National Sibling's Day (yesterday) to my overly mushy sister who is never on social media and will likely never see this blog. I love you.
Love,
You Darling Salt Crystal
