It looks like a major miracle and blessing from God!
Having three congenital heart defects - one must ask themselves many questions about growing into a family with their spouse. I've had many things to consider in my life concerning my heart. But having children was one I wasn't really given the option to ponder for the majority of my life. When I hit high school- I was still seeing the same pediatric cardiologist- as there was not an Adult congenital heart defect specialist until I was already out of college. My heart problems will always be pediatric problems that follow into adulthood. Anyway- my pediatric cardi began telling me once I hit high school that having children would be something we would have to carefully look at and discuss as the time came.
Then, when Eric and I had been dating for four months in 2013- already deeply in love- We went to my new wonderful adult congenital heart defect specialist for the first time. At this appointment- SO many hard things were presented to us. As most know- I was told then I would need more heart surgery. And that heart surgery would happen within 3-5 years. Well that was 4 years ago and as of this past spring- the doctors have no clue when this pending surgery will happen as my heart is still very strong and has showed no digression. PRAISE GOD!! But- being that in 2013 we had just gotten this news that basically in 3 years I could need heart surgery again- we were devastated. And the icing on the cake of that conversation was that I could possibly have children depending on the strength of my heart after some diagnostics, however- Eric and I would need to have children before the heart surgery for the best outcome of my heart and for the safest pregnancy.
We had just started dating! And it did not matter we were already in love and knew we wanted to be married- we did not want to immediately have a baby- we wanted time to date, then be married, then travel and enjoy one another alone before having a baby! We would have basically had to have a baby within the next year- maybe two. How stressful, scary, and upsetting as we feared our options were stripped from us. We wanted to do life together slowly, patiently, and lovingly- not rush and put time restraints on it! And again- we were still just dating! Can you imagine?!
Having a baby even before my heart needed the next surgery does mean that regardless of how strong my heart is- it will weaken my heart to go through pregnancy and delivery. By the way- God willing- I will be delivering the baby- as is actually safer than a C-section with my conditions. I have been advised that if I am passionate about a truly natural birth then so long as I stay very strong and stable I can- but the doctor does prefer I have an epidural. Y'all- I love natural childbirth- women who can and choose to do that are on some crazy level of awesome. I will not be one of those women. I will take the epidural- because I believe for me- I don't want to bring unnecessary risks into my abnormal circumstances. So having a baby theoretically is supposed to bring this "upcoming unknown as to when surgery will be" a little closer on the timeline. Am I scared? It's not like I am thrilled that I have a pending heart surgery- but this is the testimony God gave me and I am not going to spend my days worrying, living inside the lines and thinking about what is coming. I will be prepared, cautious, smart and grateful to God that this is His plan! There is always good in God's scary plans!
Having a baby with my heart also poses other things such as there are higher risks for miscarriage (Which is why we waited until the last week of the first trimester to announce), and heart specific birth defects for the baby. These are just the realistic statistical facts. And I did actually have a few scares very early in the pregnancy. We had a threatened miscarriage- meaning my body threatened to miscarry- but God allowed the baby to remain within me!
Then I had a car wreck which I was sure had taken my miracle. But no!
Then a couple of weeks later I had another big scare- we thought a miscarriage. Praise God it turned out to be a major sub-chorionic hemorrhage (the best case scenario with the symptoms I had). This was the worst thing I have ever felt emotionally. I don't know if I have ever been more upset or scared. I was in the ER for many hours because the doctors thought based on what I described I was miscarrying. And you must know- knowing how high my rates are for miscarriage and how common miscarriage is in any woman besides that- I was so sure- no doubts what so ever that I had lost our precious so young little baby, but after 9 hours in the ER- we received yet another miracle.
They ended our night in the ER by performing a routine ultrasound to indeed confirm if a miscarriage had happened. This ultrasound tech had no legal ability to tell me what she saw and I was unable to see the screen. Even if the screen were facing me, my contacts were so foggy from crying- I wouldn't have been able to make out a thing, But Eric could see. I watched Eric's face for reactions. I saw these little corner smiles come and go on his face. Then he would look at me. And I could not read him. Was he giving me the "I love you and it will be ok, I'm so sorry face"?? Or was he reassuring me that he saw something beautiful...a miracle?!
After what seemed like an hour, the tech left the room and Eric calmly sat in a rocking chair beside me. He quietly said, "There is still a baby there." "I saw a little flicker." (The heart beating)!! I didn't get my hopes up. I remained quiet. I was traumatized, numb, exhausted.
Then- the on call OBGYN came to me after another hour and told me I was very much still pregnant and we had us a baby with a healthy heart beat!
After this- everything became good, normal, and wonderful and I was finally able to start enjoying my pregnancy with less fear. God had saved this baby twice. He has such a purpose for this baby and man oh man did God grow my faith!
Before I ever got pregnant- Eric and I had talked a lot about our family plans. Praising God that no doctor could seem to find any weakening in my heart- meaning that the 3-5 year time line was abolished- we felt called by God to proceed faithfully with having a baby. And we had been able to date, get married with no rush, travel, and be alone with one another like we desired. We felt that God had made it so so so insanely clear that I am able to safely have a baby. Maybe not in the same way as most women, but I could safely have a baby soon with Eric. And so, we prayed and we planned and we prepared. My prayers have been very specific. I prayed that God would not allow pregnancy for me if it meant this baby would have heart defects. I would probably hate myself if I passed any genes for heart defects along to our baby! I truly would have a very difficult time living with myself. I would feel so selfish! I prayed fervently that the heart would be strong and healthy, the baby would love God and serve God with all of its life and heart. And I prayed that God's will would be done....which it always is! Shortly after that we got pregnant!!
And we are soooo insanely overjoyed. We feel God surrounding us and all over this baby.
Having my heart defects and being pregnant means I will have many extra doctor visits with my cardiologist and OB. The baby will have its first echocardiogram in a matter of weeks. I've had countless of these and before the baby is even born it will have it's first. This is to ensure that there are no heart defects. There will be the normal anatomy exam, and then later an even more extensive heart anatomy follow-up for the baby. Having heart defects and being pregnant means I have to really take care of my body and monitor everything. Swelling, heart flutters, blood pressure, etc. I am doing very well so far outside of already having some minor swelling. But- then again the hard part of pregnancy has not really hit yet. So I ask for prayers for Eric and the baby and I as the three of us and God grow, and live daily and await our extensive examinations. We have a big long road ahead. I believe in a big limitless God. I believe in a miracle working God. I believe that God allowed all the odds to be flipped so that He could do something great with this child He created. And so far, God has already given the Gladden family many, many humbling miracles with this baby starting the day he allowed Eric and I to create the little one together!
I am not scared. I am faithful. I am confident in the God I serve. I am in love with my God, my husband, and my baby. In that order. Oh, and praise be to God- we also learned- if Eric and I desire to have another baby sometime in the future- we can even do this after heart surgery for me, now. Will not be the favored plan, but is safe and ok! I am so thankful to God. My life has come so far. A life of being prepared to never have children- to having my best friend as my husband and our love growing into a human in my tummy! Thank You, God, oh thank You Lord!! How humbled I am by this grace, mercy, and love!
