With 4 consecutive ear infections knocking Ellie out the first time we attempted to potty train, we finally had time again to bring forth a new phase for our little one.
Potty Training is different, I am convinced, for each child and each parent. What I mean is, my sister has successfully potty trained all four of her kids...even two at one time (the twins). Each of her kids handled it a little differently but her technique was still flawless. I am convinced my sister is as close to a perfect mom as the world can possibly have. She has such God given maternal nature mom skills. I take a lot of what I do from her as she seems always to be so successful and so well educated and informed on these topics.
We did the bare butt technique. For 3 days Ellie has ran around free as a jaybird and it has been good for this process. Luckily, she had already had the pre-exposure to her potty and the naked thing when we first attempted. So she was comfortable with this.
Day One:
I was pumped and excited to start this journey. I had my morning tea, did a load of laundry, two loads of dishes, fluffed the couch, cooked our breakfasts, cleaned both bathrooms, and Ellie was happy. No accidents. But, there is a good and bad side to a toddler already knowing about bladder control. Ellie had bladder control down from our first trial but she still was not completely sure about releasing into an open potty. Therefore; she held her tee tee ALL morning. She is so stubborn. She held and held and held it. I kept prolonging her nap because I was desperate to have her go potty once before the nap. At naps, because she is currently safely locked in her room at naps and night time, nor can I imagine a child sub 2 being able to wake to go potty through nap and night time, she wears a pull up for sleeping. Some disagree, some agree. I say it is whatever works for your child.
After nap, we continued with our normal day at home, lunch, milk, playing. Still no pottying and still no accidents. Now she was in a mood. Eric came home from work (school is still out for a couple more weeks for him) and she finally went potty for us both after what almost felt like I was going to runaway crying I was so stressed. She was stubborn, fussy, scared, mad. I understood and yet I was about to crack my cool. Poor Blondie didn't know what to do with all the tension. Eric is a calm breath of fresh air and finally, finally, finally.....Ellie pottied successfully and we all had an instant lift of spirits and were overjoyed and excited doing potty dances and singing potty songs! By this time the day was winding down. Successful and stressful.
Day Two:
I made a mistake in experimenting early with panties. I thought, "hmmm....maybe if she has on panties, even if she has a wet accident one time, she will feel they are different than diapers and she will be compelled not to potty in them, but she will be comfortable?" Well, she loved her panties and inevitably, too early for them, she had an almost instant accident in them and said, "Oh no! wet!" I told her it was ok and explained that panties are different from diapers. She understood and implemented that the rest of the morning as she wore her panties. She would drip in them but not have a full out accident. When she would start to drip she would stop herself and say "Teetee!" and we would run to the potty. Discouraged and feeling about half as rough as when breastfeeding was not working...I texted my mom and dad for encouragement. My mom told me to ditch the panties, it was too early and to be reminded that Ellie was learning her new body cues still and it will take time and patience. She took her nap in her pull up after having some successful potty trips before. I took a nap, mentally worn out. After nap, I readjusted my attitude and mustered all the strength to be positive and patient I could find. The afternoon consisted of four hours of constant pottying....EVERY. TEN. MINUTES. I was not complaining...I was proud she would sit on her potty...but she only let trickles out at a time....and I thought.....surely there is more than this?! Oh and there was. Eric home, all of us camped out on screened porch playing and back and forthing to the potty that sat on the porch, Ellie very obviously to the eyes had to be bursting to potty but she was screaming about sitting down on the potty....never had been so resistant. I didn't know what to do other than pick her up, set her down on it and hold her top half in a hug and make her stay there and speak encouragement to her. It may sound harsh to make your kid do something they are scared of but Ellie is ALWAYS scared of things UNTIL she tries them and has success. I am her mommy and I know and understand her more than anybody else on this earth. And when my baby has success...oh boy!! Nothing can stop her advancement then!! She is shy and scared like myself. Stubborn like myself. And I know what she needs. And it works. She loved being hugged by me and when she could finally see herself going tee tee in her potty, this time letting it all out and not just in trickles...she became calm, she watched, and she was happy. She felt better. She saw this was good, right, and that we were proud and she smiled and continually told us of her success of tee-teeing in her potty! she pointed at it smiling and clapping and sayin, "Good job! Tee-Tee potty!" She finally got it. Right when I thought I could do no more myself...right when I wanted to break down as a frustrated parent in a little room alone....Ellie finally got it!! The tension was completely wiped away and the play time amped up. Then, she felt brave enough to try to poop. But she wanted me to hug her. So I hugged her while she pooped and she squeezed my head and pulled my shirt towards her and she did it and was once again so very proud of herself!! My hugging her comforted her and Eric's calm nature comforted her. Those two moments just minutes apart became our game changer.
Picture: Ellie wanted me near. She laid my head in her lap, covered my head with her blanket, kissed me and patted me and told me, "Aww baby!" This comforted her. While my legs circulation was cut off sitting like this for so long, I was happy to do whatever it took to bring her comfort for the moment.
Day Three:
Day three showed a significant improvement in comfort and understanding of what we were doing. No accidents. One good tee-tee before nap. Happy baby and happy mommy! Way less tension and much clearer communication and understanding. She brought me books and sat herself on her potty. sometimes she sat there and nothing happened. Actually, most of the time she would sit herself there with no results, but then one time she sat herself down and gave me chicka chicka boom boom and she finally gave that potty what it wanted! Each time it gets better and makes more sense and the comfort level improves.
Day Four:
The panties make a second grand appearance, and this time they are here to stay. No accidents!
Day Five:
She has it down pat. She may have one small accident if too distracted but she has got this thing down!
We potty trained a baby. Oh my gosh. I thought this one week would break me. It was not the hardest parenting moment of my near 2 years, but it definitely was in the top 5. Only because it is exhausting and I am not a calm or patient person. I am a type A perfectionist and I had to channel in calmness, peace, patience, grace, and gentleness that normally I bulldoze around to get a task done. But the only way to be successful with your little one is to remember it is about them, their body, their comfort, their knowledge, and their having comfort in you as their mommy or daddy to trust you to help them and encourage them. I am so so proud of our smart and tenacious determined little stubborn spit fire girl. She can do anything she sets her mind to! Cheers to Ellie! My potty trained girl!
Note: Potty training still meant we could go outside and play! She just went outside without anything on her bottom and we carried her potty close by! (For the walk she wore panties)
