2022. I have a lot of thoughts ….but …. I will keep it short and simple.
My word for the year, going into 2022 knowing that everything I knew was about to change drastically, was “survive.” And survive, I did. I’ve often thought how this is probably the worst year I’ve ever lived. How this year has brought me the worst pain and challenges I’ve ever known. But, it is not right or fair to say this is “the worst year of my life” because precious Elias was born. God gave me Elias this year and therefore that completely crumbles the idea that this was my worst year ever. I also know that there are far worse things than the challenges I faced this year and I can see how God blessed me even in my turmoil. Because we are healthy, happy, together! But it was truly the most challenging and painful year of my life thus far emotionally. And also the most rewarding too. And that is because the Lord is sovereign.
Because that turmoil I face is a battle between God, myself, and my family to lean on and my closest friends to be comforted by, I’ll take this opportunity to share the good God has given us this year because His goodness never ceases and He is always faithful.
Obviously at the top of the list is the birth of precious Elias James Gladden. Our sweet darling baby boy who completes our family and makes each of us immensely happy. I am so happy God changed my heart to desire another little one. We needed him.
God has blessed my marriage richly to my best friend, Eric. We have grown as a couple in our love and respect for one another. We have sacrificed for one another, worked hard to help each other, and have only grown closer in what has been a difficult year. I’ve never been more sure of how amazing he is as a person, father, or loving husband in my life. He truly is my greatest blessing. He makes all the bad things better and he makes the happiest days even brighter.
We were blessed to travel a good bit even with a newborn this year. With Eric having 16 weeks paid paternity leave we were able to take lots of little road trips and do happy little things together for homeschool field trips, experience trips, and just plain fun trips! We had a great first beach trip this summer for Elias and we hated to see that end. We are so blessed to be able to be together as a family and to homeschool and be with our children daily!
God gave me the best friends ever - so much so that even while far away each of them has kept me in their hearts and loved me so well and selflessly and I only hope I can be as good to them as they are to me. I’m richly blessed with a wonderful group of women who know me at my rawest, realest, most edgy self and still somehow love me regardless. Could not be more thankful for like minded, funny, gentle, patient, helpful, and amazing girls in my life. Nothing compares to them. They are like family to me.
God gave us a roof over our heads and a swimming pool as a bonus.
God gave me a few really true friends here in GA that have made all the difference in this transition for me and to them I’ll always be thankful and love them deeply.
I still have both of my amazing parents who selflessly still help me even though I am further away now. Who love me also at my ugliest self and understand me to my core.
I have a running car that keeps us safe and takes us where we want and need to go.
I have the ability and privilege to let Ellie take the classes she wants to take and explore her interests and she has blossomed so much this year and has discovered she LOVES performing on stages whether it is singing or dancing or playing piano.
I am strong and healthy even after having my second child and my heart is still hanging in there (though I do go for an echo soon and later a cardiac MRI to check how it has healed since having Elias.) God has allowed me a healthy - abnormally healthy- life for being such a defective person 😂😂 one day I’ll have that open heart surgery but I am thankful to keep pushing it off in the name of Jesus and God’s healing hand.
This year grew me - I am still growing though I’d really like to stop now if I am being honest. I need a break. I almost can’t breathe sometimes for the growing pains. I’ve truly experienced some of the absolute worst emotional pain of my life this year and yet I can say that and know this - if that horrible pain is all I’ve had to endure - if that horrible pain is the worst I’ve ever encountered- then I am indeed richly blessed. Because my pain is not a problem. It hurts. It’s inconvenient. But there is so much immensely worse pain people face and live in and suffer daily and maybe all their lives. I have my family. All of them. Safe, healthy, and in love with one another. We are all healthy and strong. We have our home and a good job that provides our needs. We have people to love and be loved by. We have the gift of Jesus and His salvation for us. We are good. Even in the darkest day, the light still shines.
I am prayerful for 2023. I will praise God even in the unknown and the pain and sorrow. I will praise God that He has gone before me. I will praise God that His will is perfect. I will praise God for my opportunity to glorify Him in all things. I will praise God for His eternal plan and perspective. I will praise Him for the painful deafening silence. I will praise Him in all things. Because He is always good. Earth is not my home and I have hope in Him for better even if it’s in death, which I don’t have to fear and so that alone is reason to praise. In my weakness He is strong, I don’t have to be. In my sorrow He is my joy. In my darkness He is my light. He is my strong tower and He holds me in His hands.
2023, welcome! I prayerfully welcome you.
Photos from the year:
New Year 2022
