The First Year

It is hard to grasp how one single year can flee so quickly and yet contain so much. So much change, So many memories, so many developments, and so much life. One year. 365 days. A whole new wonderful and nearly perfect world.

This post is a blurby blog of all I have felt and learned in the past year from my parental perspective.

The day Ellie was born, I was bouncing per usual for 4 hours a day on a big blue rubber exercise ball in front of the TV binging on Pretty Little Liars and eating a grilled cheese sandwich. I remember then how I was cherishing the little bit of alone time I still had, while on the other hand I was truly tired of waiting to hold my baby and was ready to step into my new role and love on our girl.

Ellie came and it was the most miraculous and emotional and overwhelming day of my life. I cried with the most intense amount of joy my soul has ever known the first time I heard Ellie cry. I can still hear that first cry of hers and feel the intensity of mine. I have never in my life felt that much intense elation for someone who's little face I had not yet even seen! I have never felt so inhuman in the best sense of the word in my entire life. She was here. We actually by the grace of God, created an entire human being and she was ours from God. Her flesh is our flesh. Her personality is a mix of ours. She is our love in a human flesh that we now have the honor of nourishing further in love and most importantly bathing her and educating her in the love of Christ.

Then came the heavily anticipated by myself lack of sleep and feeling of needing someone else to take over so I could sleep, eat, and shower. I always felt like I had to choose one. I felt like a robot, a milk machine. I felt dead, mombie, and incredibly happy. I thought I would die of sleep deprivation but still loved to hold that baby girl who cried out for me EVERY 30 minutes....all around the clock. For 2 straight weeks I slept no more than a full 45 minutes a day. I barely ate. Again, food was a choice between sleep, or showering...or sleep again. Eric would literally spoon feed me while I nursed. While very happy, I was all an absolute wreck of nerves, tears, confusion, and wanting to run away for the next 6 months and come back when she was not as needy. This is my truth. It never meant I didn't love Ellie, it meant I was severely and dangerously sleep deprived and I needed my mama, sister, and husband more than anything ever.

I am SO SO SO thankful I knew myself and my needs ahead of becoming a mom. I requested no visitors until 6 weeks post partum. I requested no meals be made or delivered. And to this day I can honestly say I would do it all over again. I loved eating the food I had prepared and knowing it was healthy and full of protein and nutrients to help my body heal. I loved having the peace to get to know my daughter and learning my role alongside my husband. I loved not worrying about anyone or anything else as I tried to recover, learn, and be who Ellie needed me to be. I had no energy as it was and I don't know how I would have mustered it for visitors. For my friends who loved me for my weird ways and kindly and lovingly respected those wishes and patiently waited, I am forever grateful. Thank you for giving this new mama what she needed and for understanding your friend and her quirky ways of doing life. Thank y'all for knowing it was never personal, just the needs of a new mommy who is also super introverted. Y'all just made me love y'all more by being so so so respectful and loving and always keeping contact and asking to visit as soon as those 6 weeks ended! I was actually able to enjoy the visits then, when I allowed them and I felt more ease about Ellie being around others as well as felt a lot better physically and mentally. I had had time to get comfortable and learn what Ellie needed, wanted, and more about who she was and what worked for her. Nobody wants an uptight anxious Emmay. I even told my mom to leave one day. I actually bit her head off and yelled at her to get out and just leave! I had had 0....literally 0 minutes of sleep in over 24 hours and Ellie FINALLY decided to sleep and my mom made the smallest sounds and threw me over an edge. She, having experienced 3 open heart surgeries of mine with me, knew I am a fiesty person on drugs and no sleep. I heard her laugh at me, totally unoffended, and she told Eric good bye. My sister went to kiss Ellie's lips at 2 weeks old---after I had strictly demanded nobody touch her face when holding her. (The story had hit the news recently of a very young infant dying due to a kiss on the lips and infected with a cold sore). I hauled off and hit her on the top of her head the second I saw her lips pucker and her head lean down. She busted out laughing and said, Ok, ok ok!!! Sorry!! Don't touch my baby, y'all. So. Be thankful I didn't allow visitors because the people I loved more than anything got beaten and abused. And y'all thought I was sweet. Mama Bear don't play.

I learned from my mom in this past year not to be afraid of my infant but that I can help her learn and grow even as a 3 week old. My mama taught me early developmental exercises to do with Ellie...a way to play with her and not just leave her lying around all day. I believe that knowledge and self esteem my mom gave to me as a new mother is what has helped Ellie to thrive and be advanced in her physical and mental milestones. Yes, I am proud of my daughter and I think that is ok. All mothers should be proud of their babies and their great and exciting accomplishments. Any good mother is proud of her child! Once I learned I could play with Ellie and also help her to advance in movement, I felt happier and more rejuvenated. I felt more that I had a purpose other than to feed her and change her. My spirits were lifting. I began to look forward to her needing me and to holding her. I began to love talking to her even though she couldn't talk back. She listened. She became something so so so vitally important to me in even a deeper way than when in my tummy. And that relationship grows every single day.

The first year is a huge year of milestones and learning for both baby and parent. It is full of ups and downs and confusing stressful times.....all of which are buried and irrelevant next to the beautiful, precious, special, exciting, and funny good times your little bundle brings. And little Flicker brings us an immeasurable amount of joy. I would never want to go back to a life where she was not in it. She makes every day, even the challenging ones so spectacularly wonderful and meaningful. The other day, a snotty, badly teething Ellie lay helplessly in my arms, actually still for once and in need of snuggles. We were staring into each other's eyes in the dim room with only the creak of the rocking chair to be heard. And I realized....I don't even remember a time in the past that I would want to go back to in front of this moment right here caring for my ill little one. I mean, there are no adventures from mine and Eric's lives before Ellie together (though perfect, and romantic, and fun) that I see as more important than what adventure Ellie is for us now. We are together carrying out the most rewarding and truly meaningful adventure together of our lives.
 I used to say one main reason I never wanted children was because it would mean I could not travel extravagantly anymore. Well, that is partially true...I can't just up and go to an exotic land with Eric on the drop of a dime. And I will admit, the first couple of weeks with Ellie at home, I remember thinking, what have I done?! Is this life now?! No sleep? No sanity? No putting on real clothes??? (Hello post partum depression!) But it did not take long for that to change and then to grow oddly forward in a new feeling altogether. You see, Eric and I need, as any healthy marriage needs, alone time together. I used to feel that as soon as I was comfortable with Ellie and her routine, I would leave her with my parents or my sister for a night or a weekend and Eric and I could go away. But the CRAZY thing is....when those times present themselves...I feel strangely different...well...I really don't want to experience "this" without Ellie...we could show Ellie "this" we could take Ellie "here"....etc. And Eric has agreed. It is exciting and fun to be with Ellie and we WANT to include her in everything possible. We want to sacrifice our own pleasantries so that she may have all she could ever want or need. I still want things...but more than I want for myself, I want for Ellie. Why would I spend the money on me when I know it could give her "this"? Now for those of you who think Eric and I will never go 24 hours without Ellie or are fearing we don't put our marriage before her...I promise you, we do!...we already have her set up to spend a night with my sister in GA. We are also planning, God willing, a trip for just us two in the next 2-3 years to celebrate our anniversary as well as Eric's Clemson graduation. We are also fortunate to get many dates thanks to my parents. But, yeah....basically....I really genuinely love being with Ellie and spending time playing with her and talking to her. I guess I must be too childlike as well as introverted to "need" adult conversation. I just love the company of my family all the time, and of close friends who behave like my fami;y. Ellie is a joy and I find it truly fun to get to play with her and enter her world of imagination and wonder.

I as a parent in this first year had to learn how to sooth Ellie. No baby is the same. They have the same needs, but they are still tiny humans with their own likes and dislikes and natures. I had to learn who she is and what comforts her. I had to learn what interests her and calms her. It turned out Ellie loved having her bottom patted, being bounced in my arms, and going outdoors. Ellie does NOT like to swing. Nope.

I had to learn how to teach her to self sooth and help her sleep well at night. I had to learn what her cries meant....no one cry is like another. They each have their own meaning and purpose. I had to learn how to bathe her and how to entertain her (she is not subjected to any sort of screen time).

Doing all this, going the extra step for her, has created an independent child who loves to explore and loves to learn. It is hard to not be selfish and lazy and just to let her watch something when I need to use the bathroom, or cook, or clean. But I am so proud I never gave in because I can see how greatly it has benefited her mind intellectually. She reaches for books and "reads" to herself. We play together and make up games. She makes up her own games of whatever she finds to be funny and I join in! She herself now inititates games and creates new ways to play with me!! You can see her wheels turning in her mind. The first year has taught me patience, determination, selflessness, and will power. I would do this all the same again, too.

I had to learn to be courageous, brave, and strong in so many new ways in this first year. I had to overcome so many hurdles in order to give my daughter the best life possible by allowing fear, my introverted nature, and new things to get in our way. By stepping up my confidence, I have made so many wonderful new friends while doing what I love doing and have allowed Ellie to make many many new friends, too. We try to find a million different adventures and experiences to let her mind grow upon. It has really helped in making her quite sociable and loving towards others. She is so personable!! I have to break out of my comfort zone and speak to new people in order to teach her how to be kind, loving, and sociable. But for her it is really just natural.

I had to learn that she is a baby and therefore- she is going to be confusing and weird to me sometimes. Such as when one day she is chugging 8 oz of milk 4 times a day, laying perfectly still--and the very next day, she wants to drink 4 here and there and crawl at the same time. She would scream and refuse to drink if I held her still in my lap. The girl wanted to explore and drink at the same time. That stressed me out. It was just that it all happened one day so randomly and I didn't expect it. It threw me for a loop. I actually called the doctor to see what was wrong with her. He told me she just decided to change her routine. And I was like....okkkkk......and he was right! I felt any little change in her must mean something was wrong. Turns out she was just changing and growing! Just when you think you've got this parenting thing down and all is well, the baby is sure to throw in a new kink for you to have to figure out.

I have learned it is ok to not be perfect. It is ok to set high goals and land somewhere just below perfection. Just doing your best is incredibly perfect now knowing what us mother's do every single day 24/7/365. I did not continue with cloth diapering because of moving homes, living in a very tight rental, and knowing we will be potty training about 6 months (fingers crossed) after we move in our new home (God willing- remember, I set high goals). I never found it hard or inconvenient (if we had not been working to sell a house). But I learned what was most important was not my pride, yet my sanity for the sake of our family and the care of Ellie. I am my hardest critic and I have a hard time accepting "failure" but there is not failure in doing what is best for the sake of your family. That was a big lesson this year. No mom or parent for that matter is a failure if they are giving their best to their child, being selfless and attentive and present in their lives, daily offering the absolute best you have to give.

I learned that I am not as strict as a mom as I thought I would be, nor as uptight (in most circumstances--I am still uptight and I like who I am.) I learned to go with the flow. I learned how to function when schedules are off track. I discovered I hate telling Ellie no. I want her to explore every possible thing and make the biggest mess she wants to make so long as it does not hurt her or damage anything. I have let her unroll an entrie brand new roll of toilet paper just because it made her happy to explore it as well as it was funny to her. It was not wasted...maybe not pretty, but it was still functional. I have let her play in all the mud and dirt she wants and not freak out when she eats some. Nature is so healthy for children. I have not chased her around worrying about food messes or toy messes. When she goes to bed, I clean it up. And one day, she will learn the responsibility of having a fun time and cleaning up afterwards. But her developing mind is best served by allowing this explorative play and not wasting time cleaning. (But I still clean- I believe in taking care of the blessings God gives and keeping a clean home....just after she goes to bed). I have loved seeing this in myself....letting loose and encouraging this fun and not being afraid of a mess. An important lesson this year, though a surprisingly easy one to grasp. I think it came easier because I really don't ever want to hold Ellie back. I want her to be happy and have many many experiences and dip her toes in lots of waters.....literally. Let's see who she becomes by her own desires and Godly guidance from her parents. My prayer for her every single day is that she becomes a God seeking, loving, fearing woman who loves others with the love of Jesus, works diligently, and becomes who God created her to be. I don't know what the specifics of that life looks like for her, but I know it can't be anything apart from wonderful if God is the head of it all.

I have learned that all my fears of parenthood before I met Eric were simply because I had not met the right man and raising a baby with the love of your life is what makes this adventure the most incredible thing two married people deeply in love with God and each other can do. It is not easy, it changes your marriage dynamic, but if you are with the right spouse that God designed for you, putting love above all else, it is truly the most fantastic journey and blessing. I have learned more about Eric than I ever knew. He is more patient than I could believe is humanly possible. He is so graceful, selfless, helpful, and forgiving. In our case, Ellie has strengthened our already very strong marriage, to form a deeper trust and understanding of each other. I learned I had to be vulnerable and admit when I need help and to specify what it is I need help with. I do not have to be super woman nor do I have to suffer in silence. When I am struggling, I learned I need to tell my best friend and husband so he knows how to help me so we can best help Ellie. And it is best to talk to him about what I need or how I am feeling when my emotions are not the ones speaking.

One year ago- I became a Mommy. Every single day for the rest of my life, I will be learning a new life lesson as I co-raise our baby, Ellie. The first year has come to a close. I feel nostalgic. I feel proud. I feel sad. I feel happy. There was once a time when I begged for her to grow up, baby, please grow up. But then I noticed she was doing just that. Now, her growing up is heartbreaking for this young mommy. I hope to never waste even one single day no matter how hard of life with our greatest blessing. Realizing that has really helped me be so much more gentle when she is screaming like a wild banshee and I have no idea what she wants!! She truly makes me see the light of God in a much brighter way. His glory shines through her very life into mine.

This blog is to ME and any other new/young moms.....I can proudly say, that while far far far from perfect...I am a good mommy. I am a mommy who is open to learning and growing. I am a protective mother bear. I am constantly praying over motherhood and Ellie. I am proud of the imperfect mother I am and the goals I strive for. I am thankful for Ellie!

Ellie: One Year!!

Lawzy mercy mae! I am losing it over here, today! How can one be so full of excitement and sadness at once?! My beautiful baby is one year old!! We did it!! We all 3 survived the first year!! Praise be to God!!

Ellie Clardy Gladden:

Birth Stats: 6 lbs. 14 oz. and 20.5 inches long

One Year Old Stats: 20 lbs and 30.5 inches long

Ellie, in one year gained and learned so much.

She has 8 teeth.

She says Mama, Dada, Cajun, Blahn (Blondie), Hey, Yeah, Yay, Get, See that?, Baby, I get, I get that, Bite, All Done, That?, and light.

She crawled at 5.5 months old.
She walked at 10.5 months old.

Her hair is sandy blonde. Her eyes are Green Hazel (sometimes golden brown).

There is not much she will not eat. She does not like squeeze pouches (I tried these for yogurt), she does not love plain avocadoes but likes guacamole. As for anything else, she loves to eat really anything so long as she is feeding herself. She knows how to use a fork and spoon. She still mostly uses hands because these feed her faster. I give her utensils towards the end for more practice and strengthening the skill of putting food on the utensil. She gets the concept and acts it out, but not much food actually surfaces on the utensil.

She eats a cheesy omelette every morning and sometimes adds almond butter cinnamon oats and blueberries on the side. She loves cow milk. She gets that from me...I used to drink almost 2 gallons a week every week even up until marriage. My doctor begged me to cool it because it was murdering my iron absorption. She also loves to drink water!! Hallelujah!

She loves hiking, being outside, play dates with her friends, stealing other kids' food, swimming in pools but not in creeks, reading, dogs, stuffed animals, and music. She loves to make people laugh and to intentionally be goofy. She loves to be chased, tickled, and kissed. She loves to give kisses to us and her baby dolls and Blondie. She loves playing dinosaurs and roaring at me. She LOVES peek a boo. She loves chasing the dogs around with cooking utensils and growling and squealing at them. She loves feeding them scraps. She loves rides, climbing, and playing rough and wrestling with mommy. (Daddy is much more gentle!) She is always smiling and you can bet if she is not, she is sleepy, hungry, or bored.

She loves pointing to lights and saying "ligggghhhht!" She wants to know what everything is called, and she wants to learn how everything works. She will tear something apart already only to try and figure out how to put it back together again. And she gets it! She loves loading toys up in her bucket and walking around with it. She loves to throw blocks and rocks. She loves cars and trucks and princess dresses. She loves to put objects inside open spaces and then throw them out only to put them back inside, again.

She already hits and disobeys. Sinner. She intentionally touches something she is not supposed to, looks at me, and laughs. I pop her hand (when necessary) and all she does is grunt like I busted up her fun. Thank God for the love and redemption through Jesus Christ because she, like I, needs it! Lol!! But she appreciates boundaries. When she is thinking about touching something she knows not to touch, she stops and looks at me, mouth open in a little "o" eyes wide.....I say...Ellieee....no no! And she puts her hand down and grunts like hmph! She appreciates having healthy discipline in her life, I can tell. She looks for it. She also still chooses to disobey sometimes and laughs and smiles looking me right in the eye. Pops on the hand don't make her sad they just irritate her, like, good grief! She is so stubborn and strong willed and independent. I am thankful for it but I know parenting will be tougher for it. But it will serve her well as a grown woman. But honestly, even though I am playing my parenting role....I am laughing so hard and having to hide my face a lot because her assertive, stubborn, strong willed challenge me face is so so so so cute and funny, as is her laugh when she thinks she got away with something. She is adorable even when she sins LOL!

She really loves playing with her friends and is now mobile enough to run and chase and play all sorts of games with them. She loves so much to play with them and give them kisses and smiles. It is so cool to actually see Ellie interacting and following rules of games and understanding the games she and her friends play. They actually know what they are doing and are following a dynamic that makes sense. At so young!! Wow! It is awesome to see her social awareness and joy and watching her learn to share and play with a sweet spirit. She is so happy.

My favorite things about Ellie I have discovered in the past year, are her eyes, her smile, her hair, her constant jovial nature, her brain, her determination, her fighting spirit, her physical strength, and her love of dogs, outdoors, adventure, and books. Honestly, I just love everything about her. I truly do. She is my buddy and my baby! And I cannot believe we have spent every day together for the past year. It produces the most incredible bond.

Every morning we read in her bible and I love when she actually engages in the stroy and we don't just read but we talk about it, too. I love when we pray together and I know the Holy Spirit has His arms around us. There is nothing better than praying as a family.

Happy Birthday Ellie!! you are one year old and the most amazing and beautiful young lady ever!!
I pray Daddy and I will daily do what God guides and leads us to do in order to lead you in a Godly manner and to the plan He has for your life to glorify Him! Just the fact you exist is already a testament to His great power` and the miracles He creates! We love you Ellie Belly!!! MUAH!!

Ellie's One Year Photoshoot By Anna Bargeron Photography

One of the earthly things I value most in life are photos of my family and every single exciting moment. I have a very emotional attachment to photos because they are always there to look back on after life grows older and so much changes.

I met this incredible truly one of a kind friend while with our hiking group with our children. I heard her voice near me as she spoke to friends and I couldn't help but listen and like a nerdy little dork think to myself, "Oh, I want to be her friend!" Anna radiates and oozes the light of the Holy Spirit. She is loving, patient, selfless, humble, and kind. I am a major introvert and can come off as snobby I fear because I don't talk when meeting new people at first; not on purpose, I am just really shy; I tend to observe and get comfortable, first. But sweet Anna warmly greeted me with a hug and helped me warm up and she got me to feel like my own bubbly self much quicker than normal. She at that very hiking play date took her first photos of Ellie and I was in love with how she made my daughter smile. I knew instantly that God had given me yet another incredible friend who was in the same frame of mind and stage of life as I, and I was grateful. She has a friendly, loving, big sister vibe for me.

Soon after meeting her, I got to watch her put herself out there with her faithfulness to God on Him leading her to start her own photography business. I was INSTANTLY excited as I knew her talents already. I inboxed her for a quote estimation and found her very fair and reasonable and knew then I would use her in the future.

Ellie was in need of some sassy First birthday photos and I knew just who to call. I was so excited to finally get to have her capture my family and to spend a little more time together.

All I can say is WOW. First and foremost....if you have met me as much as twice...you know I am bubbly and happy and quirky...and one of my quirks is being a very organized, structured, scheduled, type A personality. I love organization. It calms my severe anxiety, honestly. Y'all!! This girl! She is not only an incredible friend and person to be around, she is also a very organized, clear, helpful, and put together business woman! She sent me an email with details, instructions, and encouraging positive vibes! She assured me she would take care of us rain or shine and that I was not to worry about a thing because she has it all taken care of for us. She even prayed for the weather for us! There is nothing an anxious little mama loves to hear more is that she can rest in the arms of her friend and photographer! She put me at ease. That meant more to me than some can possibly imagine.

The best part about her personality and her character and just solely who she is.....she loves Jesus with all of her heart, first. She loves Him above all, then her husband and beautiful two children. And because she has the Holy Spirit pumping through her veins, she radiates His love and gentleness and patience in all things. First of all, she was patient with a no nap Ellie. She helped keep me calm when I was running around chasing Ellie and her birthday hat, and trying to keep Ellie happy. Anna was always smiling and seeing the funny and good life moments in the reality of Miss crazy Ellie! She made me appreciate it all even more. What REALLY captured my heart for both our friendship and her as our photographer was this---- After editing our gallery and sending it to me, she messaged me and told me that she prayed over my family with every single photo. She sent me 85 photos. That means she prayed for my family 85 times. 85 times she brought the Gladdens to the name of Jesus!!! I am so thankful and mind blown and truly happy and touched!

Anna is more than a photographer. She is a friend and a beautiful Christ filled soul who has touched my life in a very special way!! Book this girl!!! Oh my goodness! You will be so Glad"den" you did!

Here are some of Anna's beautiful captures to celebrate our baby girl turning ONE!!!

Domestic Diva: Tuscan Chicken "Pasta"- Healthy and Effortless

I wanted to try something different and still keep it healthy. So, I made pseudo pasta. Here's the recipe. Literally the easiest healthy dish I have ever made. Ellie LOVED it and so did hubs!! Winner, winner, yummy chicken dinner!!

INGREDIENTS:

* 2 bags of frozen "Green Giant" Spiralized Butternut Squash
* 2 chicken breasts
* A lite sun dried tomato vinaigrette (as much as it takes to lightly coat the chicken and "noodles"
* a can of minced muschrooms

DIRECTIONS:

* Dump it all into slow cooker set at 6 hours or Medium heat
* When ready to serve, shred chicken. Or don't...I like it shredded.

**ADD real parmesan cheese if desired.

Voila. Bon Appetite.

Ellie Visits Michigan- Her Northern Roots

We planned a trip to Michigan, where Eric was born and raised, to see nearly all of our family, attend a beautiful wedding for one of our cousins, and to celebrate the 4th of July.

It all began with the wedding invitation we received for Eric's cousin, Matt. He is a sweet soul. He married one of the most naturally beautiful girls I have ever seen, Alyssa. We made plans to make it happen that we may be there for this special day.

This also meant Ellie would get to meet practically all her Michigan native relatives both Gladden and Gorski sides. It even meant Eric getting to catch up with old friends and I myself, as well as Ellie getting to actually meet these friends in person whom I have had the pleasure of forming a relationship with even through the distance. Oh to finally hug warm soulful friends and to meet their sweet babies, too!

Shortly after arriving in Detroit, we first drove through Ann Arbor. Priorities, don't ya know? Eric took us girls to finally see "The Big House" where the Michigan Wolverines play football. Eric was one confused dude sporting his gorgeous Clemson attire, being a Clemson student, and fan by marriage standing by his true love of Michigan football. He was simply adorable and I know he loved sharing this piece with his girls!

We started our trip by hanging out with the Rueffer and Folk families at Lake Bruin in Hell, Michigan. Yes. We went to Hell. If only we had found the sign to prove it LOL! (Please have a sense of humor my southern baptist friends ;) ). Ellie immediately without questioning it at all, took kindly to Jaime, Matt, and the Rueffer family dogs, Chester and Oliver. She then got to meet their three beautiful children. She spent most of her time loving on, playing with, and being held by Jaime and Izzy (their gorgeous oldest daughter). Ellie just adored them. She loved the lake water and their big, hugemongous pink flamingo float! She just thought that was hot stuff, right there! Izzy helped me on the shore to feed Ellie and she sweetly loved on my baby like a good big sister that she is to her baby sister, Kora. Time was so sweet and far too short as Ellie was exhausted and ready to nap. So we headed on to the final destination- Bay City.

 Ellie and darling, Izzy

 Sweet spunky Oliver, "Ollie"

Dear sweet little old Chester. Eric knew him as a puppy. Such a sweet cutie!

We arrived at Eric's childhood home and picked his mom up for dinner. We saw Grandma Gladden briefly, not nearly long enough, though, I am thankful she got to meet her great granddaughter, Ellie. We got seafood on the Saginaw river near our hotel. Nana Eleanor (Eric's mom), was a tremendous help and comfort to this little mama the few days we were there. She took care of me when I had gotten sick and dehydrated from traveling, she cared for Ellie when Ellie was too exhausted to function so that Eric and I could eat, and she helped me to keep track of so many things. She really touched this heart of mine as a mother and a daughter these past few days and I am very grateful for her love. After dinner, Eric took his mama home and Ellie and I got ready for bed. She slept in a pack-n-play in the hotel room bathroom. (Obviously we made all surroundings safe). She slept so very well in there in the dark quiet room. Eric and I had a new challenge....sharing a full sized bed vs our usual king. We are long limbed and jagged jointed creatures. We like to spread out...well..I do. Cajun and I only give Eric a slither of the bed, LOL! What we thought could be potentially challenging turned out to be really sweet! We snuggled and were completely cozy! Still, I will keep my king sized bed, please!! Haha!

The next day, we had Nana to join us on whatever we randomly decided to get into. We did not make too many strict plans as we just wanted to go with the flow and see what all our family was interested in doing. We took Ellie to lunch at Mr. Hot Dog. Mr. Hot Dog needs "his" own paragraph in this blog. It is a Gladden family staple. I feel I could write a review/blog of it all on its own. In Bay City, there stands a small, humble building with a pale blue roof. It is old and doesn't look like much, yet, it is filled with a lot of warmth for the soul and the tummy, too! They accept only cash, but it is obviously working for them. They are the one and only restaurant. No chain, no other locations. I mentioned it was a Gladden family staple. How so? Well, for one, I have been getting a meal there every Michigan visit for the last 5 years with Eric. (If you know me on a deep and personal level, you know this now constitutes as "tradition" -something I hold in high favor). But, digging deeper into it's sentimental value, this place is where Eric worked his first job. As well as his brother. His mom even worked there a time. As did his aunts and so many others in the Gladden family. I feel they helped make the place to be as great as it is to some percentage all on their own! I loved sharing that news with Ellie and letting her see where Daddy got his working roots. This is where Eric learned discipline and good work ethic in the work place. While standing at the front counter to place our order, I see Nana take off with Ellie, wearing a smiley smirk on her face, to the back. The next thing Eric and I see is our baby in the kitchen! Ha! Nana took her to the back office to meet the owner, Mark. Mark is an incredibly bright figure. Taller than Eric, joyful big voice, and a bright smile on his face...he greeted me and Ellie and Eric and remembered some times with Eric when he was employed there. He called me smiley. I loved that! We ate our meal. Ellie enjoyed a grilled cheese (as did I!) Then headed off to Meijer to see Papa Rollie (Eric's dad, Ellie's Grandpop).

Meijer. Likely, no southern native will have heard much of it as it is a northern, north western superstore chain. (Y'all...can we get one here?!) That place had it all. I'd say it was just under Target. But we all know Target is posh. It's my mommy hide out LOL! It was fun to show Ellie where her Papa worked, and see him there. We got a few essentials and went back to the hotel to nap.

Every night we were able to watch fireworks from our hotel room which overlooked the Saginaw river and a gorgeous, lush, green, courtyard. there was a carnival set up on the other side of the river and the lights at night were a bit magical. It was really nice to lay in bed and unwind with wine with Eric every night. We watched fireworks and yachts and even big ships at the draw bridge every night.We loved cuddling as the Three E's on cushions in front of the big window watching all the action. Ellie walked around all over that hotel room getting into everything, climbing chairs, and trying to use the phone!

Ellie got to meet Aunt Rhonda the second night at dinner as Aunt Rhonda had just flown in from Seattle to spend time with us all and some friends of hers. Ellie immediately took to her and I loved that because I love all my aunts I've inherited and claimed as my own through Eric. I have really been given some amazing aunts, uncles and cousins through both sides of Eric's family and even though the distances are great, we talk in some form almost weekly, even if it is a photo comment here or there. It means so much to have them in my life and now for Ellie to experience their love, too. I love that they call me their niece because that as how I see myself. We enjoyed dinner and conversation then we Three E's split away from the rest to unwind with Ellie in plan to put her to bed. However, we got spontaneous.

We took a walk along the river exploring all the different events going on. You see, Bay City, Michigan knows how to celebrate our military, our American culture and history. They know how to honor our police, and service peoples well. They had all sorts of concerts, festivals, and events taking place from the 4th all the way through Saturday...each night only getting bigger and better than the last. It was all a family scene, too. Nothing trashy and obscene. Just good, clean, family fun, celebrating our country's freedom. As we walked, we found ourselves across the river admiring all the carnival rides, discussing which we both liked as kids, and could we still ride them?! We decided since entry was only $1 and Ellie was still awake and perfectly happy, to see if we could just attempt the Ferris Wheel with her. That we did and she could not stop peeking around at all angles. She chased birds with her eyes and her pointer finger, she babbled at the river, she cooed at the lights. We got brave. We decided to buy a few tickets and try a few more rides with Ellie. Next was the Merry go 'round where Ellie and I rode a pretty pink horse. Then, we got EVEN BRAVER....and we put Ellie on her first solo ride. A little race car on a tract. Babies had to be 24 inches tall. She is 30. We strapped her in, and I stayed by her side until the ride started. Ellie loved it! She just cruised along and smiled at us every time she passed. She did way way better than I would have imagined! If it had been a little Emily, I would have been crying- even with my sister there holding my hand. This girl is one tough cookie! Jumping up and down with joy, we rode one more town car ride together, then put her on her final solo ride for the evening- the baby swings that go round and round. She again was 6 inches over the height requirement. Therefore, we strapped her in super tight, and stayed close as we watched her sail through the air, holding the bar of the swing and grinning with big wide eyed wonderment. She loved it. I am so so so thankful we didn't let hesitation and fear hinder us from allowing Ellie new experiences. Always have caution, but don't hover too much that the babe misses out. Saying "No" too much teaches them fear and rejection, too, in my opinion. Her mind and senses got to explore an all new territory with those rides. And she gained another ounce of independence. Big girl!! So proud!! It made for a lovely family evening, yet we did not end it there. We went back to our room, and at 9:30 p.m., Ellie was still smiling and bouncing around. So we dressed her up like a little firecracker and let her watch the firework display for the evening before surrendering her to her cot for the night. It really was one of those feel good family gushy moments where everything in the world feels right and perfect.

The next day was the wedding day! Yay!! We relaxed all day long. Naps galore. Then it was time to start dolling up for the celebratorious (I think I made that word up?) event! The wedding of Matt and Alyssa Aikens!! We wore hues of blue which was apparently a good choice as it was the wedding color and the choice of 90% the other guests. Ellie got to meet more of the Gorski side of the family at the wedding! We hung with the Ososki clan (Eleanor's sister's family). This means Ellie met Aunt Chris and Uncle Kevin, their beautiful daughters, Sherri and Jodi, and their beautiful children, too! They have all felt like my own flesh and blood from the start. I love them so much and I am always so happy to see all their children. Ellie also got to meet Uncle Scott and Aunt Mary and their daughters, Sara and Amber, and of course, their son, the man of the day, Matt (The groom). She also met her great Grandma Gorski at this time. Ellie loved almost every minute of the wedding and the reception...she did have to make an exit towards the end of the ceremony as she hates to sit around. The grounds of the wedding were gorgeous and great for playing outside with all the kids. Ellie went around with Nana to meet friends and family. I am so happy she had the chance to finally have Ellie in her hometown and around her family to share her blessing and love! It made me happy to see her joy. It also allowed me to spend a little time with my husband as just us two! While Ellie showed off her bows, ribbons, and glitter and walking skills, Eric and I ate and drank and were merry! Lol! We took lots of big family photos and then we let loose the goose as we started dancing it up. Ellie danced on the dance floor on her own two feet but as the evening grew older, she got in the carrier and I bounced and shook, and shimmied while wearing her. It put her right to sleep to feel mama dancing like a wild thang with music and lights everywhere. (Hence why she hates sitting down for too long- her mama never has!) Eric and I slow danced. Ellie slow danced with Nana and Papa, also. Eric and I each danced with Ellie. Then we took her back to the hotel, watching fireworks on the way, and put her to bed.

Our final day, Saturday, was also a very big and special family day for the Gladden side of our family! So many came together to "tailgate" on the courtyard in waiting of the BIG Bay City Firework display! Here, alongside Aunt Rhonda, Ellie got to meet another one of her great aunts and great uncles! Aunt Beth, her son Chris and his wife, and Uncle Charlie and his precious wife, Lorie. All were so so loving and playful with her. she enjoyed all the attention, of course. Nana and Papa stopped a cart of light up goodies to purchase Ellie a few funny and cute light up and musical toys for when the lights went down. Honey! She had a good ole time with those, now! They put such a huge smile on our girl's face!! She made everyone laugh with her playfulness. I am so thankful we got to have this special family time and they were able to meet little Miss Ellie. I am so thankful we were able to expose her to so much love from so many family members these past few days! We ate pizzas and watched the big firework display. Ellie did great. She LOVED admiring the colors and sparkle of the fireworks. She wore Daddy's Bose noise cancelling headphones for a while, yet ultimately she ditched them with aggression as she hates things on her head.

Side note about those fireworks---told y'all they put them on for 3 days straight. The last night being the biggest and most spectacular show. People come from miles around to admire. I must say- while entertaining and enjoyable...they are also the only show that has ever touched my soul so deeply enough to remind me what fireworks stand for. To remind me why we have these fireworks shows. To remind me why we all gather and celebrate and what it is we celebrate. Our country is not perfect, but we have to respect our history and our past to see why we are where we are today, appreciate it, and learn from it, and keep pressing on for the good of our nation. It was great seeing so many people so kind and friendly getting along.

I just want to close this long over detailed blog (for my memory sake) up by saying a huge thank you to both the Gorski and the Gladden families for making Ellie's first trip to visit y'all so very sweet and special. Y'all made her know how loved she is and y'all were all so helpful! Also huge thank you to the Rueffer family for letting us spend time with your beautiful family and for loving on our girl! Until next time, Michigan! We love y'all!