My Greatest Passion and Purpose

It is my belief God creates each of us with a purpose. Before we ever breathe our first air, God has an intended purpose and spiritual gifts for each of us. Each is created to bring Him glory through us. We are meant to glorify Him, each of us in our own way. Some in hospitality and how they serve others. Some are gifted with teaching capabilities. Others with leadership. So on and so forth.

My top 3 spiritual gifts are:
 1. My Faith- trusting God in all things and expecting Him to move and take care of all things.
2. Exhortation- Encourager, one who builds others up
3. Wisdom- Has insight and guides others with scripture and experience

Keep those in mind with me and who God created me to be as you read this blog.

So we all know by now if you have read almost any one of my blogs that God created me with 3 congenital heart defects. I've had 3 open heart surgeries. I still need more.

Ok. I personally find these heart defects to be a gift. Hear me out. God didn't allow me these because it was some sick joke. God gave them to me to be part of me and who I am as His child in my faith in Him and the message I give while I still have time on His earth. He uses them in me to glorify Him. These heart defects are not about me, but about what God can do, what He did do, Who He is!

Ok so let's put all of this together. My 3 heart defects, my surgical past and my surgical future, all play into the spiritual gifts God Himself gave me! My faith is very strong. I never ever doubt never for one second that my amazing and beautiful God is constantly working in my life, is present in my life, and loves and cares about my life. I KNOW that God will care for me in all things. His way is always perfect, even if it is not what I pictured for myself....His way has always proven 100% of the time to be the best thing and the most wonderful thing.

Because God has done so much in my life, allowing me to live when suregeons said, "no way," to be a marathon runner, a mommy, a wife, no restrictions, no meds, He has allowed me to overcome failures, losses, hardships, all forms of pain....I know all things will always be ok in the end. This allows me to be an encourager when I speak to others. When I share my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I can encourage because His name alone is pure peace and hope. He wouldn't be encouraged by that? It is not I, but He alone Who chose to use my body which He created as a vessel.

And this is where my wisdom also comes in place. My family always did say I looked like a little owl with big eyes, a small pointy nose and tiny little lips. Owls are wise. God has granted me wisdom through allowing me so many experiences most normal people don't experience on the daily basis.

With these spiritual gifts and the 3 heart defects He gave me, never being healed until I meet Jesus in Heaven, my greatest passion while I have time on this Earth is to faithfully encourage others with the wisdom God gave me. I want all to be aware of caring for their bodies, their health, their hearts. I want people to understand it is because God saved my life physically that I am still alive, He saved me Spiritually and this is why I have a hope in this life, and it is I who honors this blessing from God by caring for the body He allowed me to live in with healthy eating 90-95% of the time, exercising, and seeking the wisdom of doctors that God also blessed with many gifts.

God has given me all these things to not sit idly by and waste my life. Not to ruin my body which is a temple for Him. He allowed me ALL this to help His people, to serve them, teach them, encourage them, share His love, wisdom, and truth. I love heart health, nutrition, and exercise. Find your own passion in these things so that your body will be better equipped to longer live to serve the purpose He created you with while using the gifts He granted you.

Love and Good Health to all!

What are your gifts? Not sure? Find out here and get into the word and prayer about these things.

https://spiritualgiftstest.com/spiritual-gifts-test-adult-version/

Ellie Learns About Love

Valentine's Day is not a day Eric and I have ever found romantic. We celebrated the first one we had together as a dating couple by simply giving cards and making dinner together. And I told him before the next one came around that I didn't think it was necessary to celebrate it as a couple because  I don't find anything about it romantic. I think the random flowers, surprise dates, bubble baths, Ghiradelli intensely dark chocolates, pillow fights, tickle fests, dancing in the living room, chasing each other around the house, sitting outside sipping wine and chatting is perfectly romantic on the daily basis. And no holiday or greeting card company had to cheesily encourage us to do these things. We don't think it is wrong to celebrate the holiday. In fact we still exchange cards....though we kind of pick fun at it, together! Haha! It would just be a completely unromantic waste of a day if Eric and I observed it as a day "we have to have something for each other." That is what works in our marriage, celebrating love truly on a daily and even spontaneous basis out of our own desires to keep that fire roaring and growing between us, no matter how insanely busy we are. We are the most overwhelmingly busy we have ever been on our lives together and I can honestly say, I have never felt more in love, closer, or loved by Eric than I do now in this time. When you are married to your best friend and favorite person, you feel recognized and smothered in love daily! The things that people "do" for Valentine's...we are fortunate to do very regularly already. So we feel we don't need to do it just because the marketing world told us to. But that is just us. And really every person in my family. We just don't find it romantic for couples. But we celebrated it with Ellie! And the fur babes!

 I find it incredibly fun for kids!! What a cute holiday for children to share love and learn about love and service and kindness. I cannot wait until Ellie is old enough to pick out her own Valentine's and exchange them with friends. Well, I can because that means she will be older, but you catch my drift. Making Valentine's treats, exchanging little cards, and wearing red and hearts is super adorable!! Since this is a day people associate with love, I wanted to embrace that as a chance to teach Ellie how to love others. We know that some people look forward to this day as for some it may be the only chance somebody thinks to "love" on them. First, we started with the definition of love.

I read her the scripture, 1 John 4:8 which says, "He who does not love does not know God, for GOD IS LOVE!" We talked about why in fact God is love, what that meant. It means what it says. I told her about the ways we can love our neighbors, serve God by serving and loving others. To show others love is to show others God. This should also be done on a daily basis. To show her one very simple task of love, we made 4 batches of brownies. Because, you know, food is the 6th love language they left out. We made them for two service providers who show love and devotion and selflessness on a daily basis as should always be done. The Easley Fire Department and the Easley Police Department. We made 2 other batches for different departments at Eric's work. We wanted to love on Daddy, his friends, and people who work hard daily and are just precious souls.

We made Daddy a Valentine with Ellie's hands and feet. We read a Valentine's Day book about a grumpy monster who nobody offered any love or a Valentine. But, one little person finally extended the grump monster some love and he was so very happy and cheerful. This was to explain to Ellie that all people need to be shown love and grace. Maybe they are grumpy because nobody has done so?!

"Flicker" is what Eric called the heartbeat he saw on the ultrasound monitor in the ER the second time we were told we may be losing Ellie. Flicker...because her heart was flickering.  :)

We also went to the library for story time with our friends and made a valentine and read three stories about showing others love.

Ellie was so busy learning to love others and showing love (between naps and meals), that I forgot the whole day to even give her the Valentine from Daddy and I! We gave it to her the next day. She tried to eat it.

So while Eric and I don't care for the holiday romantically, we love that our daughter can partake in the holiday to learn about love and how to make somebody feel special, loved, and most importantly, to show them God- Who Himself, is love.

Eric helped me make Ellie's Valentine's cards. See....we have fun and do quirky cheesy romance literally daily....naturally!! So blessed God gave me my best friend to marry and to have an Ellie with!!

What "1 in 100" Means To Me

Today is National Wear Red Day.

1 in 100 births are affected by a congenital heart defect. This is the most common birth defect. Heart disease is the number 1 killer of women. A woman dies approximately every 80 seconds from heart disease, however, these deaths are 80% preventable by maintaining a healthy and active lifestyle. 1 in 3 women are affected with heart disease. Some of it is hereditary, yes, but the majority of it can be battled and must be battled.

I am "1 in 100." I was born as you all well know by now with 3 congenital heart defects. I've had 3 open heart surgeries. My heart is not "Fixed" and never will be, though it has been beautifully helped by surgeons and doctors God has worked through. And rather than this fact be a woe is me, pity party, I have chosen to embrace it. Why? Because God chose me to endure it and allows me to use it to glorify Him and to help others.
Being that God allowed me ever so graciously to live a vibrant life I do not want to waste this life He allowed me by living a sedentary lifestyle. He has enabled me to be a strong runner. I run without even thinking about. I could not run for months and months and have the natural ability to pick up and go run a half marathon with no training. That is a major gift from God. That is not me, that is God. I do not currently nor have I ever taken heart medications. I do not have anything restricting me in life. Primarily I credit this miracle to God. Secondarily, I credit it to the choices I make with my lifestyle. I believe food is God given medicine. Not to say I don't enjoy a cheat treat now and then, but on a daily lifestyle basis I eat healthy food full of vital nutrients and fiber and protein. No dieting. Just filling my body with the natural goodness God provided us. I also incorporate exercise into my daily routine. Obviously running is my passion but I try to find ways while cooking, playing with Ellie, and cleaning, to add a little zazz to my movements to really get my blood pumping. I encourage everyone to do the same in your daily routines. Even small exercises exist for desk jobs. I used to walk two miles on my lunch break while drinking my protein shake when I still worked. We have options. One must simply find the motivation and commitment and will-power to do so. Hopefully the statistics above will at least give a small kick in the pants to anybody who needs the start-up. It is always a good reminder for even myself.

Being "1 in 100" is a gift I am thankful for. Strange? If you are looking through a human mind set, then I am crazy for being thankful for these defects I possess. I invite you to look at this through the eyes of God. An eternal perspective. God chose to give me these defects. He didn't choose to do so because he was punishing me for all the things I would/will do wrong....He was not playing a trick or an evil game....He, in my opinion, created my spirit to be one of strength, determination, and ambition. God created me with a divine plan and wanted me to have these three defects to show the world that through my weakness, He is so great and so strong. Ohhhh so many thoughts and truths here. I will have to list these. I don't want a single point missed.
How does God use my weakness for His greatness? Why is being "1 in 100" a gift?

 * Before I was born, my precious Daddy had grown up in church. He went to church with my Mama and my older sister. But going to church doesn't make you a true follower or believer in Jesus. Reading your bible, doing good deeds, being a good person, does not give you salvation. It is one simply believing truly that Jesus is the vessel by which we receive salvation. Then asking the Holy Spirit to come upon us and change us- daily striving to seek God first. Being a church going member is not what gives you salvation. If you have questions about this, feel free to ask me or someone you trust who is a follower of Jesus. All this to say, my Daddy received salvation the day I was born cyanotic and was evaluated by doctors to be a hopeless case who needed at the time experimental open heart surgery. This brought my Daddy to the throne of God. This brought my Daddy to seek Jesus. To realize His need of Jesus. To humble Him. To change His heart to be one full of Jesus living inside it. God uses epic measures to grasp the attention of His children. This is why He is a "Jealous" God. He does not need us- but He loves us so, He WANTS us. Us filthy, sinful, worthless, creatures. He gives us our worth. My Daddy prayed and leaned on God from that day and never stopped. He is one of the very most Godly men I have ever met. This was the day he received eternal salvation. I told my Daddy at 5 years old that if I had to have a scar on my chest to bring His heart to Jesus then I was happy to have a scar. I have known since I was 5 that I was thankful for my heart defects. God used my defects to save my Daddy. I am forever thankful for this. If God had only ever produced this one result from my defects it would have been enough of a purpose in my book. But God didn't stop with just this one purpose.

*Running. I have been told all of my life that the doctors/ surgeons my parents dealt with when I was born told them I would most likely die. Should I live, I would live a short life as a vegetable. And yet, here I am. I have ran marathons, I run all the time. I hike and exercise with no difficulties. I am more in shape than really most people. Please hear me correctly...that is not a note of bragging on me. That is a major Brag on God Almighty Who's word is all that matters. And He clearly said, "She shall live life!" I wouldn't even be "me" without Him. I have been able to use this as part of my testimony and not only am I happy to have these abilities with my defective heart, I am deeply grateful to be able to honor God with them.

*Ellie. All of my life I have had my heart prepared that children may not be in my future. I was never told I could not have children but I was told that it would be quite a risk and it would just have to be evaluated when the time came. My parents did a good job of preparing me emotionally for no children just to be safe. When I met my current cardiologist, I introduced her to the man I would come to marry, and she spoke with me at our first meeting that children would be possible. A higher risk, yes, but she believed I would do very well and she would be monitoring me before, during, and after, thoroughly. God used her in our lives. And still does. We, as you know, had a very lovely pregnancy with our little Ellie. I did swell up like the Pilsbury Dough Girl as I was expected to do. However, everything went so insanely well I am starting to cry now as I type. Everything. Every detail. God. All God. God allowed. God created. God did. God went above and beyond simply because He is God and He is a perfect Father. Not only is my pregnancy with my heart defects a testament to God, but Ellie's life is, too. She is a blessing and a treasure.

*I have been given the humbling opportunities to speak publicly on many occasions as one small voice for Heart Health in Women and in general. It truly is my passion. I am one of the most shy and introverted people. I am awkward,quirky, goofy, and too giggly. I get the pit sweats something fierce with the anticipation of speaking publicly. But God uses the weak and humble. David and Goliath, y'all. And I love it. Because I always get blessed by it from God. Blessed as in, I get to meet the most truly amazing people who have CHD's or are parents of children with CHD's. And these people have real problems and complications. They have actual things holding them back. And you know what? Their spirits are so colorful and positive and happy and loving and encouraging. You would never know they had such challenges.And God uses these people I get to speak to, to work in ME!! He sends me to encourage them, and yet I feel I always come away more blessed than the blessing God was meant to use me as. I almost always call my parents or Eric in tears about the precious people I meet and their stories and the overwhelming grace God has bestowed upon me. Gah. I mean.....why did God allow me this amazing life? I am nobody special without His powerful Name. These true survivors amaze me. They have TRULY inspiring stories. But, God gives me strength to speak boldly in order to glorify Him and help others and raise awareness to these defects and the major #1 killer of women that heart disease is. I am thankful He uses me this way, and I am thankful He touches my heart with the stories of other survivors.

*Future Opportunities. I am just living this amazing life God gracefully and mercifully granted me, and I am waiting for the day to come that I will eventually need a pulmonary valve replacement. Again I can look at this through two different perspectives. A negative earthly perspective that tells me to be pitiful and sorry for myself--or I can choose to honor God and think positively about what this future surgery(ies) means. This surgery will most definitely be an opportunity for me to glorify God in at least one if not multiple ways. First, I must remember, this is the life God gave me. He created me a heart patient. This is the way through which God fulfills His purpose in me to give Him glory. So, what will this next surgery present? Will I meet a nurse who needs some positive vibes, love, and encouragement? Is there going to be a small child who needs to see what kind of wonderful life they can live? Maybe the child's parents? A child who is scared and needs somebody who can fully understand their fears and try to make it easier on them? Maybe my own daughter needs to see me go through this for some reason God only knows? Maybe I will never actually know the reason. Obviously God will use this time to help me physically but I feel that there is so much more depth to it than the fact I will be able to run better and function better than I can currently comprehend. I feel like that is the superficial purpose. For which I am thankful, but my first instinct is to seek what God's main purpose is in this. Again, maybe I will never get to know. But, I am thankful He will use my earthly body to glorify His great Holy self. My surgery is for Him and about Him, not me! And in full transparency, it makes me nervous, but my cardiologist is so awesome. She has been encouraging about it and she calms any fears. She makes me feel I will recover well and quickly when the time does come. That is a happy thought! My husband, as well. I'm blessed with the people God placed in my life. Meanwhile, I will keep honoring the body God granted me by taking care of it as best I can. I encourage all to do the same.

I am 1 in 100. I GO RED. I go red for women. I go red for all CHD patients. I go red for Eric. I go red for Ellie. But first and foremost....I go Red for the miracle of life God gave me (and all that life entails).

Ellie: 6 Months

I cannot believe little Ellie is already half a year old! When she was first born it felt as time was sooooo slow. Now it is just flying right on by. I have officially started getting teary eyed if I think too long about how fast the time is flying. She is so much fun and so cool and sweet! Every passing month brings more and more fun as Ellie grows and shows us more and more of her playful and goofy personality.

I will share her height and weight on the 5th- she is far too active and mobile for me to pin her down for measurements anymore so, I will leave that with the nurse when she goes to get shots on the 5th.

This past month, Ellie got into some new things. She is officially a crawler!!! She is able to slowly crawl to wherever she wants to go! She gets up on her hands, and knees and pushes forward now "correctly" with her toes and knees. I am so happy for her and proud of her. It makes her so happy to crawl where she wants to go! When she gets tired, she holds her little hands and pauses to suck her fingers and then does a scoot and high plank type of crawl. That one looks hilarious!

She walks around the living room while holding my fingers, taking beautiful big strides. Sometimes when doing this she stops taking steps and starts jumping with both of her feet/legs and laughs so hard at herself! She has learned that the playful "pterodactyl sound" we make at each other is a fun little game, and she occasionally will chase me while sitting in the rolling chair of her play table, and make the sound at me with her hands out reaching for me. She thinks it is funny when I scream and try to run away. I see many games of tag in our future!!

She can pull-up and stand herself up with ease. She gets really wide eyes and very excited with herself when she is standing up tall!

Ellie waved at me one morning. It took me a minute to realize what she was doing and then I realized she was waving and smiling at me and she was working out in her mind how to do it like me! I was ecstatic. Later, she waved at Blondie...who thought Ellie was waving a snack at her. "Lick!" Haha!

She had her second snow here at the rental house!

She loves to have raspberries blown on her tummy, being tickled, playing airplane with daddy after their Butterfly Kisses slow dance, playing "Naked Baby" when getting ready for bath. Ellie loves to be kissed, to crawl, pretty shiny jewelry, picking out her clothes, petting Blondie and Cajun, outside, jumping, music, playing and being silly, sweet potatoes, toys, and books and story time with friends at the library. Ellie loves the "preaching" at church and likes to shout out her own little coo of "Hallelujah" and "Amen!" (This is why we are in the LC service, now, haha!)

Ellie and I joined a mommy and me type of hiking group. I love hiking, adventure, and being outdoors, as does Ellie. I strap her to me in the baby carrier and off we go. This month we hiked Paris mountain, Raven Cliff Falls, Jones Gap Falls, Jump Off Rock in NC, and Big Glassy Mountain, Flat Rock, NC where we also met some goats and chickens. Hiking with Ellie has been the most amazing thing. We have made wonderful friends with the most precious mamas and babies. Our drives out to our hikes are amazing times for praising and worshiping Jesus in the car with music, praying, and thanking God for the gorgeous views we see as we drive and explore. When we are in the mountains I feel the joy and warmth of the Holy Spirit even on the cold days and I talk to Ellie when we stop for lunch about how God created all that she is seeing! It is truly amazing getting to do this with her. It is an amazing bonding time with her.

Ellie had play dates with lots of her boy friends....not boyfriends...lol. Sam, Grant, Myles, Eli, and Asher! She loves watching them play and she loves to discover them. I notice she progresses more in her growth and skills during and after playing with her somewhat older friends. It is like she wants to try and keep up with them. It is so good for her to play with friends and we are so thankful for the invitations extended to us to spend tine with great friends. Ellie also got to hike Oconee Station Falls with Eli and Asher! So beautiful! I suppose you could say Ellie had a play date with her newest/ bestest girl friend growing in Lauren's tummy, who's name I'll not yet disclose as my friend Lauren has not made that public at this time. Those two will be two peas in a pod. Just like their mommies are!

Ellie got her ears pierced! It is so stinkin' cute and she did AWESOME!

(Ellie gives judgy looks, you have to earn her sweet smile, lol. In this case, she was like, " Lady- what do you think you are doing with my ears?!")

She got to go to the Upcountry History Museum for a free night of exploring the Jan Brett and Katherine Hepburn exhibits. Ellie showed interest in Katherine's fine jewelry and lipstick, and all the beautiful color of the illustrations of Jan. She was able to play in a large gingerbread house and go fishing with magnetic colorful fish. She got to have a story read to her at the museum and then Ellie got to pick out any book she wanted for free! What a fun and awesome night!

Ellie tried green beans, sweet peas, zucchini, avocadoes, and spinach. She hated them all except thavocados, and avocadoes and even those she simply tolerates. She has learned the color of green is not a good color to be near her mouth but orange is always welcome. I never ate greens unless my parents made me until my 20's when I decided to live a healthy lifestyle. So I blame me for her displeasure in taste of such. I had masked the greens with sweet potatoes just so she would eat, however, I felt upon research my sister and another friend gave me that I needed to stop masking the tastes. It takes 20 tastes to determine if the baby truly dislikes a particular taste. Masking food also can create a picky eater....so....I have stopped masking the greens and we will endure what I call the "Green War."  It is a learning curve sometimes, knowing what is best for your baby and how to approach things, but I sure am thankful for my sister who has raised/ is raising 4 truly beautiful, very healthy, and wildly intelligent children, to help me out with my one precious little Flicker. Ellie is very blessed!! Soon, we will just be giving her table food. What I cook for Eric and I, so she will eat, also. Obviously, very finely chopped down or mashed.

Ellie celebrated Blondie's 2nd Birthday and wore a party hat!

She also got to go with me to the Upstate American Heart Association where Ellie and I were interviewed by FOX news about the Little Hats, Big Hearts Program. (This is a program that many volunteers with the talents of knitting or crocheting create little hats in red for all babies born in February to be distributed to all babies born in the month of February as to raise awareness to the number one birth defect affecting 1 in 100 births, Congenital Heart Defects.) Ellie was recorded with me during the interview. She sat in my arms while I spoke. I am pretty sure she pulled her hairbow over her eyes and I had to fix it while filming, and she probably drooled a lot...but it will add some character to the shots they got hahaha! Ellie and I will be aired along with the other volunteers who made the little hats and helped pack them up for these sweet babies, on February 2.  Feb.2 is National Wear Red Day, again, as to raise awareness for CHD's and heart disease and stroke. Ellie got to help me pack bags with hats, too! Her first news interview and volunteering experience all at once!! I am so proud of her and so thankful I can share her love with the community and with other little babies to be born in February! Our goal is to raise Ellie with a heart for Jesus, people, and service to others. Love God, Love His people.

We bought our land upon which God is allowing us to build our dream and forever home! Ellie and I talked about how we will decorate her big girl room, her play room, and all her land to play on, and her lake to kayak on and fish in! The building process is now in motion! We are thankful for this adventure for Ellie and to imagine all the times we will have with her in this home we are building. She will truly get to grow up in this home! Such a huge blessing!

Ellie can sit up, pull up, crawl, roll around like a little ball, take steps while holding my fingers, show me she wants more milk (she knows how to communicate non-verbally to me quite well, which I am impressed with!)

Other photos of Ellie in her past month: