I'm almost 25 weeks pregnant and with a planned C-Section at 39 weeks, Elias's arrival is soon upon us!
Many know that a large portion of my hestiancy to have a second child was the risks it posed for my health with my heart defects and my own fear for the increased risk of any child of mine developing a congenital heart defect also. My doctors would tell you the real and main concern is for my own personal health, cardiomyopathy, ventricular arrhythmias, etc. But as a mother, and a strong healthy mother at that, I really haven't had a fear for my health since the Holy Spirit lead my heart to have a second child.
I did have a short time where I was experiencing palpitations in my neck/chest area. This was early pregnancy when I was once again hemorrhaging like I did with Ellie's pregnancy. Due to my hemorrhaging with Elias also, I stopped running for a time even though I knew there was nothing my running was doing to cause my conditinon which was in fact a sub-chorionic hematoma. This hematoma increased risk for miscarriage - my risks for miscarriage are already higher just becasue of my heart conditions - though, by the amazing mercy and grace of God I have managed to avoid experiencing what I would believe to be one of the most traumatic experiences a human can have. Therefore; I was scared and just quit running and moved slowly and minimally for several weeks - almost the entire first trimester.
Ironically, once I began running and hiking and being crazy active again, my chest stopped pounding and feeling like it was gushing internally. I had an echocardiogram for myself last week and it showed no change in my heart which is good! I also had a 24 hour holter monitor of which the results I should receive soon. But I feel that I'm doing even better this pregnancy than with my first. I'm not even experiencing any swelling yet! Hallelujah!
As for Elias, though posing less risks than myself, he stands a higher risk for heart defects than other babies. A reminder that 1 in 100 babies are born with a heart defect making them the most common of birth defects. Any child of mine has a higher percentage risk. Ive been so so so blessed to have one healthy child and one healthy pregnancy with no problems and no defects for baby or issues for me. Elias's anatomy scan at 20 weeks suggested his heart was normal yet still, to follow up like the thorough specialists they are, an echocardiogram was performed for Elias earlier this week on Monday. This is always the scariest scan for me because it would break my heart - no pun intended - to know that I was responsible for causing my child to have a heart defect. I know theorhetically and any doctor of my care would say it is not my fault......maybe not directly but isn't it in some way? I chose to become pregnant twice, knowing the risks it posed for my children (which again is not statistically as dangerous for my baby as pregnancy is for me) and if either of them proved to have heart defects, though I would know and trust God had good in store for that and would use that for His glory, it would just break me. It may be considered brave and warrior like to be a heart survivor but I honestly truly believe being the survivor is way easier than it would ever be to be the parent of the survivor. My parents - what they have endured for 31 years with me and especially those first 5 years of my life - there is some real bravery and strength and fight in such people and I don't think I could handle it! And thankfully God seems to know that and spared me that.
Elias's echocardiogram appears structurally sound and normal. There was one view they could not get because stubborn boy would not move from his cozy position of his hands clenched in front of his chest and hiding his profile. However; the doctor at that visit said that confidently they can assume this aspect is normal as nothing surrounding it suggests any problems. Still, thorough as they are, I'll return in 8 weeks for another try of getting this profile view. I'm just so so so happy to know that things are going well. I cannot believe that I am 31, and have not had my heart tinkered with in 26 years surgically, and yet, I've had almost two complete and safe pregnancies and good personal health. You know only God can do that. Yes, I put in the effort to live a healthy lifestyle, eating healthy, living holistically as much as possible, and running, hiking, walking, and being active...but I am only able to even do those things because God allowed me to! I'm not even supposed to be alive. There is nothing good that comes from me but the good in me is the Holy Spirit and His goodness. His mercy. His grace. His love. I am so grateful that thus far my little son is a healthy baby boy with some long lean legs and a love of cuddling his mama already!
I am still running and hiking this far along in my pregnancy but it is definitely getting more challenging! Haha!
Now we just try for this last view of his heart, and wait to bring him earthside in a matter of weeks! We cannot wait to be a family of four!
No comments:
Post a Comment