The Bucket List

I was reflecting at the start of this new year about all the years past in my life. It dawned on me that in 28 years, this is the first time I don't have some big thing, or goal, or life moment that I have planned or am aware of awaiting me some time in the next 365 days. Before, I was always looking to accomplish the next phase of school, get through college, land a job, find my dream husband, have a home, have a baby, get a dog.....well....now all of those blessings have been given and I have what feels like reached the top of the mountain and I can finally stand and enjoy the view. So this next phase of my life, God willing, is going to finally open doors for me to enjoy me, to have no big agenda, yet, do what it is I want to do (within reason of finances and family).

Nearly 6 years ago I wrote this bucket list you see pictured at the top. I wrote it for Eric and I. We were a new couple and I knew we would spend forever together. We combined our own dreams and ambitions and made a list of things we wanted to do together with our lives. A lot of these things we have done, a lot we have not. We have not done any of the traveling. (I wrote this at a time I never saw kids in my future). Some are small and can be repeated, some are grand and will be once in a lifetime and a huge deal if we can actually do it. I had this list pinned to the interior of a kitchen cabinet at our old house. Now in the new house it is stored in our family notebook that I keep and I only just re-discovered it again a few days ago.

Seeing this list reminded me and brought me many thoughts. It reminded me to not let stress of Eric being a chemical engineering student, full time employee, and very busy to not take over our love for adventure, excitement, fun, and one another. It reminded me that we have so much to do with our lives and we need to be grateful for every day! It made me think how I am now in a set and "normal" place in my life where I can finally make room for more of these to happen. With Eric. Alone. With Ellie. This list above I truly hope to accomplish out of the joy of adventure with Eric. But it has got me thinking I could make my own list for me.

A lot of the hikes I wrote on this list were hikes I had researched and wanted to do around the time I was starting my first job. Yet, none of friends at the time were local or into hiking and my parents (whom I still lived with) would never let me go alone (and I don't like to deceive them!) So, when I met Eric I was so excited to finally find a companion who could enjoy these things with me. Though, we never did go hiking together...not until we had Ellie. Now, these trails, all but 2 of them, I have done with Ellie. This makes me happy to see that I am actually getting out and exploring the beautiful places around me and I am seeing and doing exactly what I hoped to! Seeing some accomplishments of my own off this list has shown me I can have a bucket list just for me, too, alongside this one. That way I can still live life on the days and hours I am just me, or momming it up with Ellie. Life comes in phases. This is a phase of life where sadly we only see Eric and actually get to enjoy his company about 2 days a week. I miss having nothing holding us back from adventure. However, graced by his encouragement and love himself, his striving to achieve his career dreams and provide for us a better life so that we can do more on this list, does not mean I cannot achieve my own goals and find my own little adventures, too! I am so thankful for him and how he encourages this. He knows adventure and goals make me happy.

Therefore, I am constructing my own bucket list of things I can do reasonably within 3 hours of home, on my own or with Ellie or with friends. Things that make me happy. Things that push me to break limits, goals, and boundaries. Things that show me new things and new people. Things that help others. Things that benefit my own quality of joy! I have been very blessed to be able to have a flexible schedule at home with Ellie and I am going to praise God by utilizing that and exploring the world around me He created and loving His people all around me. This is a very exciting time of life...a time where I can finally say it is time to do what I want for me!! No career to respond to, no teachers' orders to comply with, no daily grind. My one boss is Ellie and she loves adventure as much as her mama so these little Gladden girls are about to rock out 2019! Never waste a breath, a moment, a chance to do something with your life. As long as my model for life remains as God first, Eric second, Ellie third, me fourth.....I believe it is ok to pamper yourself and show yourself some love too! Emmay's Bucket List is about to go down!!