There is no truer statement. Or um...hashtag...or as Eric says "pound sign" Haha!!
Mom Life is also easily defined as one of the most challenging, exhausting, self sacrificing, experimental, what in the world, joyous, pleasurable, fun, most rewarding, immeasurably happiest moments of life.
Let me tell you what I mean. (Mamas, I know you know exactly what I feel.)
Two nights ago. Ellie is sitting only in her diaper in her high chair as she continues exploring food for herself with her hands and learning to feed herself. Baby Led Weaning. She has done a pretty great job of it. Some days I am amazed at how much she eats, others, frustrated because I feel she only consumed a crumb and fed Blondie 3/4 of the organic veggie filled oat muffins I slaved in the kitchen over for this one young mouth. This particular evening, Ellie had eaten quite a good amount. However, she began getting frustrated by dinner time and wouldn't touch anything other than to slap it and throw it to the floor. Frustrated, seeing she wasn't going to eat any further, I took a breath, and got up to motion in sign language, "All Done!" Just before my hands lifted to the air, Ellie looked as if she were choking. My medical training and mommy adrenaline all burst out of me immediately as I sprang into action to help her. Oh but thank God, she was not choking. She was vomiting ....(Not that this is good...but certainly better than the alternative!) Praise God, Ellie has never been sick, yet, therefore; I have never seen her throw up. Spit up is obviously different. Once she threw up what I can only suspect was just too much food.....She smiled up at me and I stood there, jaw on the floor, hands out with my fingers sprawled wide open as if waiting to catch something, and legs in a ready to run pose, eyes bulging out of my head. I was frozen. Oh. my. Word. Eric is still at work at this time. It was just me, a puke covered and dripping baby, and two dogs locked in the screened porch with severely muddy paws and bodies thanks to the excessive rain and our tiny patch of grass at this rental that Blondie has worn muddy tracks in. Another deep breath. Can't just stand here. I picked Ellie up and stripped her dripping diaper off and sat her on the floor. Quickly I wiped her vomit off the floor before she crawled into it to play. Yuck. But then of course, she pees. She starts crawling around and splashing in her pee. Covered head to toe in guacamole, cheese, and red staining raspberries. She was smiling and laughing so hard. My eyes were still bulging out of my head. I left the pee on the floor. Picked up Ellie and threw her into a warm bath- put her in her pjs (luckily this all went down 10 minutes before her bedtime). Put her securely in her room and ran to grab Blondie and Cajun and wipe them up and let them in. Blondie was certainly going to need a bath before I was allowing her to touch anything. I closed her up in our bathroom. Prissy Cajun can't stand to get dirty so he easily got cleaned up and was resting in our room. Ran back to Ellie who was happily playing. I began to put her to bed. Praise the Lord, Eric returned home, kissed Ellie, then laughing at my texts, "Crime scene, enter with caution" "Blondie is in jail" ...he proceeded to bathe our poor crazy pup. Once I laid Ellie down, I mopped up and Lysol'ed the kitchen thoroughly, poured a glass of wine and served up supper.
I had to laugh at all this. And Eric surely did as well....a little harder than I....
There are times I start to feel like, "Hey! I'm getting this! We are on a roll now!" And inevitably, as is life, a change occurs as Ellie grows and develops (which is always good) just something new to figure out. More to learn about her, who she is, what she likes, wants, needs. She is very good at her communication skills with us thankfully, so usually with help from my sister, mom, and close mommy friends, within another day or three, we are back to being on a roll....until the next halting stop, of course, where am I like, "What are you doing?!" "What is this new thing?!" And this will be all of life so long as God blesses me with air to breathe.
Parenting is such an adventure. The best one I have ever dared to explore. It is not for the weak or faint of heart. I have so much love for this little person. My breath catches almost every night when I hold her tight. I literally skip breaths and gasp at the joy that is Ellie.
Some days, when I feel it has been a challenging day in the life of a parent and I feel inadequate or like a failure, I laugh as I realize, moms of older children probably remember these days and these exact struggles and they know all too well that with age and each new season of life there are new challenges and things to learn as parents as well as wonderful new joys and excitement and celebrations. The hard days are so few and so short and the good days are far more prevalent and really just what makes all of parenthood worth it (really, just looking at her face alone is all I need to keep me going). I also laugh at my own struggles when I realize how lucky I am to have the "good baby." The baby that has slept 14 hours a night since she was one month old, who naps well, who is always happy, who is "easy." I know my challenging days could be more challenging and I find it so hilarious that God knows just how far I can be pushed to my breaking point (which is not far---ask any of my closest friends or family). God had grace on my parenthood by giving me a truly happy and "easy" baby even when there are days I feel like a more seasoned parent should step in and tell me what in the world to do for the benefit of our little household. I want to be the best mommy possible for Ellie and for God Who granted Eric and I this major and incredibly large and important responsibility. So when the "challenging" days come and I have bawled my heart out and frantically sought resolution from my sister who I consider to be an expert, I can still see my miracle, my God, and my Joy. I can see that God trusted me with her growth, care, happiness, health, knowledge, heart, and mind. It is the very most important role I have ever been given in my life. As well as my greatest joy, always. Anything- person who makes you feel these wild emotions is simply the very most wonderful part of living life.
5 out of 7 days I feel like we are really striving and thriving, she and I. But no child nor any parent is perfect. So to myself and all precious mamas out there...remember to have grace with yourself just as our perfect Father in Heaven does with us, His children. Cry your tears, dust off your hands, and take a deep breath, laugh if you can (because this is every parent), seek guidance from God and trustworthy friends and family, and keep pursuing the needs of your precious child!
Because, mom life....really is the very best life!
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