I Am Deeply Thankful To Have Heart Defects

It's true. I am truly thankful for my 3 congenital heart defects. Heart defects that still mean I am not "fixed" and I still need more surgery and always will. I imagine most people- even those who are personally effected by heart defects in themselves or their children or other close person- may think me a terrible person to be thankful to have these life altering defects. Some or most would desire nothing more than to have a normal and healthy heart.

But I, on the contrary, am deeply thankful for my defects and here is why. It is not simply one reason- but many. God gave me such a revelation today. He has worked on my mind via my heart since I was 4. I have never been scared by my heart. Concerned? At times. Such as 4 years ago when
I realized I was not "fixed" and never would be fully. But truly- I've felt honored and thankful my entire life to have the heart I do!

Reason 1:

My daddy became a true believer in Christ Jesus 26.5 years ago when he saw his unexpectedly blue baby girl who was supposed to be healthy and normal - immediately flown via helicopter to Charleston, SC for what may have been a pointless effort to give me some semblance of a "life" as no doctor ever imagined I could possibly survive. Or have a life of any worth and value should I beat odds. My daddy realized on September 22, 1990 at 1:56 A.M. that He needed Jesus because he did not cling to the love and power of Jesus. Being raised in church does not create a person a reservation in the mansion of God. You cannot ride your parents coat-tails into God's Kingdom ( though it is very easy to make your own way simply by believing and accepting the Holy Spirit). My daddy gained true salvation that night as he learned what it meant to love, trust, believe, and need Jesus. At 31 years old.

I remember some short time after my 3rd surgery at 4 years old I was sitting in the kitchen with daddy. At the table I sat sorting Skittles by color before eating them. (I was not OCD, I promise- just a little quirky- and still am!) I asked daddy about my heart. Daddy gave me all the medical and factual answers. But most importantly- he then shared where and when and how he received His faith in Jesus. While I was too young (for me) to fully understand what Jesus meant to me at that time- his testimony stuck with me ever since quite clearly. I knew then- I hated my scar- not because I had the self consciousness of a teenage girl would about a scar down the middle of her chest- but that it was sensitive to touch and in the way. But- hearing Daddy's testimony made me realize that God used my scar and my heart to obviously change somebody else's life. And that somebody was my daddy. And because God allowed me to be sick and live- that meant my Daddy got to live eternally as well. I knew this at 4 and I knew my sick heart had a purpose from God.

Reason 2:

Coming from the first reason- I mentioned my Daddy's testimony deeply impacted my life and my way of thinking for the rest of my life. It is quite possibly one of the most important moments of my life as it taught me the importance and love and power of Jesus. At 7 years old- the meaning fully resonated from my heart into my mind. I was ready to accept Jesus to not only fix my heart but to now live in it. I guess you could say my heart was Jesus' "Fixer Upper"! And because I realized my heart was used by God to grab my Daddy's attention- it grabbed mine- and I knew God had allowed me defects for a purpose. Though at 7- I thought my Daddy's salvation to be the only reason.

Reason 3:

I have been blessed by God to do basically anything and everything I ever dreamed of when I should truly truly not even be alive today. I can't put enough emphasis on this fact. I am not supposed to be alive. To this day I still have doctors- including my cardiologist- who cannot wrap their minds around how my heart possessing the defects it does- can allow me to function as I do! This means that it grabs people's attention. Not in a flashy, "Look at me" way- but in a way that allows me to explain this was no doctor and this was not me, but this was God. God allowed me rare defects with no doctor having a definite solution as how to fix them- causing my conditions to become a medical case study at the University of Alabama Birmingham as I miraculously survived. It taught doctors new techniques to help others. This is a blessing!! My heart's case study has helped other little babies for the past 26.5 years!! Praise God that He allowed me to be so sick that goodness could come from it. Praise God that I surpassed all expectations and can run and run and run and play, dance, push myself to conquer physical challenges without worrying, and that I can be without (thus far) any medications or limitations. This is what inspires others to not wallow in their problems but to get up and push through it. And again I say- it is not I who brings this inspiration- but the work of God that is witnessed. That is purely 100% what it is. I am thankful for this opportunity and honor to be used by God in such a way. I am nothing if not for God's purpose and work. I am merely a vessel for His goodness and power.

Reason 4:

Recently, beginning to think that I had capped out on the ways my heart defects could have a purpose to glorify God and serve others- God showed me He had more planned than I had ever imagined. Most of you dear followers have seen the blog from around late October or early November where I explained how God totally threw an opportunity in my face to become a spokeswoman for the American Heart Association. I knew it was God because the idea of cameras, speeches, and public events terrified me to a crippling state. And God kept telling me to do it. I auditioned by sharing my heart survival story with the American Heart Association and News Channel 7- WSPA. This lead to me becoming one of the Spokeswomen. I thought this was a great opportunity for me to share my story but I could not fathom then, how many people I would meet and share God's story with. I especially was not prepared to be so insanely blessed and amazed as I have been. In fact- God, I feel has blessed me more than He has used me to bless others by inspiring me with other women's stories. My heart has serious conditions that will never go away and that will forever change my life- but some of these women's stories have had me driving home from events in tears praising God and thanking God for His mercy on me and showing me humbling conditions. Thanking God for what He taught me and showed me through these women- whom I'm not sure I would have witnessed had I not been a survivor myself. Because I am defective- I get to serve a wide variety of people and I get to serve God on a bigger screen with a finer microscope. I can reach more for His glory. Because He made me weak- He made me strong- Which makes Him all the more Glorious. That is what my life is all about. Glorifying God. Though I am a failing human everyday.

Though this blog may be long and detailed- it is minuscule to the thoughts in my mind as I reflect on how blessed a life God gave me by choosing me to be His daughter born with 3 congenital heart defects. If you asked me, "Given the choice- would you rather have a perfect heart or would you rather have a heart that still battles to give you a functional life?"----I would choose to have my battling, overly hard working heart every single time. God has used this to shape my character. Most importantly though, God has used this for His glory. And I realize now- God will continue giving my heart purpose until He calls me home and my work as His servant on earth is complete. Your purpose in life is never "capped out" until God is pleased with His faithful servant, His purpose is served and completed through them, and He calls them home.

I am DEEPLY thankful to have heart defects.
Thanks for letting me share my conversation in my head with God today!